Fabulous Financials

Sunday was a rest day and I…well…rested.  For nutrition, I ate well.  Breakfast was 2 scrambled eggs whites with mozzarella cheese, 2 pieces of turkey bacon, 2 whole wheat waffles with light maple syrup, and a glass of milk.  Breakfast was kind of late, so I didn’t eat much for lunch.  However, I did have wheat thins and laughing cow cheese for a snack while BG prepared dinner.  It was an Asian dish that included seaweed and something slimy. Surprisingly, it was good. LOL

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Monday was a run day and I did 3.1 miles.  See.

I shared my thoughts about Monday’s run in my dailymile update.  I plan to run 3.1 miles until the race.  For now, building endurance is more important to me than improving pace.

My nutrition was the usual, oatmeal for breakfast with a banana. Lunch was a chicken salad sandwich with baby spinach and a side of cucumbers and grapes. Dinner was a protein shake, no appetite after running. Snacks were wheat thins and a wedge of laughing cow cheese.  Oh, and I had about 5-6 frito lay chips from the snack table at work.  When I realized how much fat I was eating, I felt disgusted and gave the bag away.

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Until recently, as in 5 months ago, I had never run a day in my life.  Now I can run 3 miles.  Wow!

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Until recently, I wore plus size clothing.  Now I am comfortably in a size 10 and still losing. Woot!

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I only have 19.6 lbs to reach my happy weight. Yay!

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I purged my closet this weekend and removed every single thing that was too big, except 1 pair of jeans.  You know, I need to keep 1 pair for the obligatory picture when I try them on to remember how far I’ve come.  I have no reason to hold on to those things because I will never go back.

I packed up 10 suits, 4 slacks, 3 skirts, 3 tops, 2 blazers, 2 coats, 7 jeans – all tailored because they were my favorite – that will be donated to Dress for Success.  This is in addition to the 4 bags of stuff that I took to my mom’s house last month AND the 2 additional bags of non-work clothes that I’ll donate to Goodwill or the Salvation Army.

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All of this is a result of the choices I make every day.  Choices that are NOT perfect by any means. But the most important choice is that I don’t give myself an option to quit.

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On a run day, I burn 2,722 calories in 24 hours. Pretty cool to know.

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I read this on a message board and it feels like it was written specifically for me:

“Running won’t be enjoyable for you until you kind of forget that you’re doing it.  Here’s an analogy. Have you ever tossed a ball in the air and tried to catch it while tracking its movement very closely with your eyes? It’s hard to do! It’s much easier to catch the ball by NOT looking at it and letting proprioceptive tell your hand where it’s going to fall.

Running is essentially just a faster version of things you’ve done naturally your whole life (walking and breathing). If you try to pay too much attention to the mechanics of those things, you are making it too hard.”

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My rent for June is $2,285. Sheesh!

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We’ve spent almost the exact amount in senior year expenses so far.

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BG was fitted for her prom dress and we pick it up on Friday. The alterations cost almost as much as the dress.  Hmph!  We bought her shoes and clutch last week.  All we need to do now is to find accessories and the corsage.  Her complete look is going to be simple, yet elegant.

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This summer is going to be a big blur. Prom is 6/4, my race is 6/5, graduation is 6/18, my fam wants a party but she doesn’t care so I’m not sure if one will go in between here, college freshman orientation is 6/24, we move to a new apartment 6/28, we leave for Paris 7/1, BG’s born day is 7/2, marching band camp begins 7/24, college freshman check-in is 8/14.

After that final day, when I return to my empty nest, I have no idea how I will feel. I just pray that God holds me close in His arms.

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BG found a job!!  That is great news all by itself. Praise da lawd!

I was standing in line at Starbucks and overheard two teenage boys talking about money.  They were both well dressed kids, “looked” smart (cussed like sailors though), and I assume they live in my neighborhood, which is pretty affluent.  So I was surprised by what I heard:

Kid #1: Yo, which colleges are you applying to this year?

Kid #2: (seemed irritated) Man, I told you. I’m not going to college.

Kid #1: I know that’s what you said, but I thought you were just f*cking around ’cause your parents were riding you that day.

Kid #2: No a**hole, I was serious! College is for punks. Besides, I have a job already anyway.

Kid #1: (laughing) Working at Foot Locker?

Kid #2: Yea, so!  Who’s the broke motherf*cker right now? (laughing)

Kid #1: True, true. So how much they pay anyway? I need a job.

Kid #2: I make like $9.75/hour plus commission.  But they start you at like $8 and you can work your way up.

Kid #1: Yo, can hook me up?!

Kid #2: Yea, I’ll talk to my boy.  Broke a**! (punch Kid #1 in arm playfully)

Kid #1: Thanks man, ‘preciate that. (punch Kid #2 in arm playfully)

Kid #2: While you’re in college next year and broke as h*ll, I’ll be making like $12/hour. Then when you finish college, you can come work for me. Be my little b*tch. (laughing and hit Kid #1 in back of head)

Kid #1: (turns to looks at me, then forces a fake laugh)

Kid #2: (steps up to the register and pays for both of their orders)

From that short 5 minute exchange, it was obvious to me that Kid #1 thought Kid #2 was full of sh*t.  Peer pressure is a beast, so I understand why Kid #1 didn’t stand up to Kid #2, although I was hoping he would.  Then again, Kid #1 was freeloading, so that would have been dumb.  But at some point, someone needs to let Kid #2 know that working at Foot Locker is not a long term career plan.  I wonder how Kid #2’s parents are dealing with him, he seems to be a handful.  And I wonder if Kid #2 really thinks $12/hour is a lot of money.

Teenagers!

When you were growing up, did your parents ever tell you to “do what I say, not what I do!” You know what I mean.  They tell you to do one thing, but you see them doing something completely different.  Like “eat your vegetables! they’re good for you!” and you never see the jolly green giant anywhere near their plates. LOL!  My mom said it all the time and there was a message sent to me loud and clear.  Basically, as a child, I was confused as heck. LOL!

Well guess what?

I’m a parent now and I do the same thing! LOL!  But when it comes to the way I handle money, I should be more careful with the mixed messages I send to my BabyGirl.  Which is why this USAA article, 5 Money Lessons Parents Teach Watchful Teens, caught my attention.  It outlines 5 very important money lessons (read: mistakes) we are teaching our children without realizing it, but it also recommends ways to correct them.  Here’s one of my most common mistakes:

What Kids See

Plastic is King

What They May Think

You don’t need money to pay for things, as long as you have a wallet full of credit cards.

What Parents Can Do

Ask your child or teen to hold on to a credit card receipt until the bill comes. Then show how everything is paid all at once at the end of the month.  Explain how interest charges work and how quickly they can add up.

This is definitely something I need to correct – PRONTO.  I whip out some form of plastic every single day.  I wonder what she learns by watching me pay with credit and hearing me complain about how much I hate cash.  Lawd, I’m going to drive my child to a life of debt! LOL

She’s also heard me say credit card debt is bad so I think she knows that I pay my credit card bills in full every month with real money.  I probably shouldn’t assume though because I could be completely wrong.  Next month, I’m going to try a modified version of what USAA recommends.  I’ll show her my expense tracking spreadsheet and let her process the online payments.  Then I’ll show her the zero balance on my credit card and the lower balance in my checking account.  Less effective than exchanging cold hard cash, but it’s the best I can do.

Check out the article to read the other four [bad] money lessons we teach our teens and how to fix them.

For several months, BabyGirl has been working and earning a little money.  Since then, I’ve been trying to teach her how to manage her money and track her own spending.  Even at 16, I do not think she is responsible or mature enough to have her own personal checking account, so I set up a teen prepaid Visa through my bank as a learning tool.  By the way, have I told you all how much I love USAA lately?  This bank is THE BEST EVER!  I really like this card because:

• It allows her the freedom to spend wherever Visa is accepted.
• Her spending is limited to the account balance only, no NSF fees.
• She gets an email when she’s within $20 of her account balance.
• She gets an email when I make a deposit.
• She’s able to login and see her account through a special interface geared towards teens.
• She can login at anytime to track her spending and check her balance.
• I can login from my account interface to monitor her spending.
• I can see “where” she’s spending and how much.
• I can limit her daily spending (if I choose to).
• I can limit the number of ATM transactions.
• I can limit the maximum daily ATM withdrawals.
• I get an email when she tries to exceed any of the limits I’ve set.
• I get an email when she tries to spend more money than she has.
• I can suspend usage at any time.
• I can set up automatic “allowance” deposits from my account.
• When I transfer money, it is available to her immediately.
• There are no fees.
• There is no expiration.

Ok, back to BabyGirl…

Although I do not tell her HOW to spend, I am actively involved in her money management and I do monitor her spending.  For example, when she gets paid or has collected a significant amount of cash, we go to the ATM and make a deposit into my account.  Then, I make online transfers per her instructions.

Thankfully, I’ve already taught her how to save consistently, so she’ll tell me to send $xx to her savings account first.  She multiplies the total deposit by 20%, then round up to the next $5 increment.  I’ve always recommended at least 20%, but I do not say anything if she chooses to save less.  It’s her money.  But most of the time, she saves more than 20% without my prodding.  Then I take whatever amount she tells me and transfer it to her personal savings account at ING.  I am joint owner on the ING account, but I allow her to have complete control.  She manages it on her own, so what goes in and what comes out is completely at her discretion.

After she pays herself first, then she does the math to tell me what is left.  I transfer the exact amount she tells me to her prepaid Visa card.  And this is where the fun begins…

Although she has online access to the Visa account, she does not check it often.

Although I’ve setup a compressed version of my spreadsheet on her computer AND gave her a mini notebook to carry in her purse, she does not consistently record her transactions.  I can provide the resources, but I can not (and will not) make her use them.

Although I’ve explained how important it is to know where her money is going, she rarely saves the receipts and has to rely on memory to know how much she spent and where.

And therein lies the problem…

Throughout the month, I monitor her account and track her spending in a separate tab on my own spreadsheet.  She knows this, but I don’t share my details.  Then, at the end of the month, we sit down together to review HER notes and reconcile the account.  For two months straight, she was not able to tell me EXACTLY how much money she had left.

Both times, I explained to her how important it is to track her own money – either by keeping receipts or writing them down in a notebook or spreadsheet.  I also told her to NEVER rely on the bank OR mommy because it is not OUR money.  Besides, banks and mommy make mistakes.  Then I explained the impact of a “small” banking mistake and how it could cost hundreds of dollars.  I even used an example from Single Ma of yesteryear and reminded her of what we experienced as a result.  She remembered.  It wasn’t a pleasant memory for me either.  So if nothing else, I was hoping she’d see how important it is to maintain her own records – with accuracy.  I told her, “no one else should be more interested in your money than YOU.”

Unfortunately, this month, it happened again…

When I asked her how much money she had left, her estimate was $17+ higher than it should have been.  She did not remember 2 transactions over the Thanksgiving weekend and had no record of them.  When I asked about each purchase, her response was a nonchalant “oh, I forgot about those.”  Umm, wrong answer buddy!  Since this is the 3rd month in the row, I’ve decided to take a different approach.

This time, mom has imposed a financial penalty.  After I told her the correct balance and showed her the actual transactions to date, I reduced the balance by another $10.  When she asked why, I told her to consider it a bank fee for my services.  Hmph!  In the real world, banking errors cost money.  She thought I was unfair for taking her $10, but I told her she’s lucky I didn’t take more.  I went on to explain if she was spending from a real checking account and assumed the account was $17 higher, she would have incurred a $22 NSF fee – the first time.  $27 the second time.  And $35 each subsequent time.  After 5-7 NSF fees in a given year, the bank could close the account.  She was genuinely surprised by the information, then I asked “would you rather me take $10 or $22?”  She said “you can take my $10 this time, but it won’t happen again.”

*checks the box on lesson #2*

Lesson #1 was here.

[the scene]

Single Ma and BabyGirl are riding in the car.

The two are returning home from a fun-filled weekend.

The entire trip is several hours long and they have approximately 1.5 more to go.

Single Ma uses the ‘togetherness’ as an opportunity to talk about…what else? Money!

[the audio picks up on the conversation]

Single Ma: Now that you have your first paycheck, you know you owe me $25 right?

BabyGirl: *with a look of fear*

For what!?!

SM: *laughing at her for being all indignant*

Because I bought you a Smart Trip card and the shoes you needed for work.

BG: But I thought you were doing that to be nice?

SM: *makes mental note to clarify any future advances as “loans”*

Oh no, no honey. You said you needed them, so I bought them for you because I knew you didn’t have any money yet. And since when have you ever known me to be nice?

BG: *laughing because she thinks SM is joking around*

But maaaaaaaa, you said you wouldn’t take me to work unless the weather is bad or it’s dark, so I have to take the bus. And none of the black shoes I had fit the dress code at work.

SM: Yes, I know that dear. I’m not saying you didn’t need those things, but they are work related. You wanted this job, so you must pay for your own work related expenses – *pause for effect* – which just so happen to include transportation and appropriate work attire.

BG: *crosses arms to pout*

Well you shouldn’t have bought them then!

SM: *gives BG the side eye in the passenger seat*

Why not? Would you have walked to work?

BG: No, but I don’t like being in debt!

SM: *thinking*

HA HA that response was worth more than $25. It was friggin’ priceless! She feels uncomfortable knowing that she owes me (or anyone) money before receiving her paycheck. In addition, she also realizes that paying it back will reduce the amount of money she thought she would have at her discretion to spend. And now she’s mad. LOL Good!

Fabulous Financial Message: It’s a horrible feeling to be in debt, and justifiably so. To have someone else calling dibs on your hard earned money before you even receive it. Whatever benefit you received as a result of using someone else’s money is probably trivial to you now. But you can’t deny that you DID, in fact, receive a benefit. So by the time you distribute what you owe to everyone who has their hands out (e.g. Visa, MasterCard, auto finance company, retail finance company, Sallie Mae, or in BabyGirl’s case – Mom), you are left with only a few measly bucks after two weeks of hard work. No fair! I’m sure many of you can relate and none of you like it, but unfortunately, that’s the rule of the debt game.

And guess what?

She’s mad, but I don’t care. I’m going to make her pay me anyway.

Yesiree, I am!

Oooh, and it might even delay her ability to do what she really had her heart set on.

*shrug* C’est La Vie

But I won’t tell her that it’s going straight into her savings account. LOL

*checks the box on lesson #1*