Fabulous Financials

I said “come on Precious, let’s take a picture!”
And this is what she did…

HA HA HA me luv my woodle poochie!

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!

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On April 1st, Single Ma’s pooch aka Precious turned 6 years old. I brought her home when she was 8 weeks and now she’s like my second child, only cheaper. Excluding the first year, my annual pet expenses are minimal. Most are from our annual vet visit when she gets a physical, several tests (fecal & heart worm), shots (distemper, bordetella, & rabies every 3 years), and free butt sniffs from the hor.ny males.

Other than that, we have recurring expenses for food, treats, coat whitening shampoo & conditioner, and quarterly grooming appts. We also have non-recurring expenses that consist of occasional meds, her carrier bag, bed, travel crate, toys, clothes, grooming supplies, and boarding.

Since many PF Bloggers think pet ownership is expensive, I started tracking how much I actually spend on Precious. In 2006, I spent $177.03 at the vet and $115.90 in recurring/non-recurring expenses for a total of $292.93.

Seven months into 2007, I’ve spent $185.07 at the vet and close to $60 in recurring expenses for a total of $245.07 with five more months to go.

Excluding any accidents or emergencies, I average about $300/year or $25/month. I’m sure many of you easily spend that much on other things, but they aren’t nearly as entertaining. Ever watch a dog chase her own tail for 20 minutes then give up from pure exhaustion? Or growl and bark at herself in the mirror like an identical intruder has invaded her territory? Comedy I tell ya.

The snuggle factor after a hard day’s work is an added bonus. Simply Priceless. For that alone, she’s earned a permanent spot in the Single Ma Queendom - as long as she stays on her end of the sofa. Otherwise, I might consider trading her in for a new pair of shoes.

Peace & Blessings

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!

~SM

This is the look I got when I told her to get off my dang chair! Perched up there like she running thangs. Then had the nerve to growl like I interrupted her Royal nap or something. Hmph!

I aint scurred! I pay the mortgage up in hea!

Think she moved?

Peace & Blessings

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!

~SM

She’s 5 years old, 8 lbs, spayed, all vaccines up to date, and AKC registered. She comes with:

- AKC papers
- outside dog house
- inside dog house
- two bed pillows (one heated for the winter)
- travel crate
- two 8 gallon storage bins full of toys
- stainless steel food/water bowls
- automatic food/water dispenser
- 10 lb bag of Science Diet
- 1 year worth of heartguard
- 6 months of pre-paid full service health insurance
- 3 leashes (one for quick walks, one for training, and another for long walks to allow extra leadway for playing)
- 2 carrying handbags
- convenient grooming supplies (two 8oz bottles of coat whitening shampoo and conditioner, tear stain eye drops, nail clippers, toothbrush/paste, ionic breeze grooming brush, fine tooth comb to remove tangles/matts, wide tooth grooming comb, puppy powder, top knot bows/ribbons, etc.)
- seasonal clothes (snow boots, 4 sweaters, doggie umbrella, and a dozen “I’m a Princess” T-shirts)

In other words, she’s spoiled and overly pampered! Remember this picture from this post?

*exhale*

Lawd help me…

Peace & Blessings
~SM

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Exhibit A: What you see here folks is an older photo of SingleMa’s pup, A.K.A. Princess Precious. She’s the canine diva who is third in command at SingleMa’s fabulous queendom. Rest assured, Princess Precious takes her ranking very seriously. Even when her mane is long overdue for some TLC (read: bad hair day as shown in photo), she’s still fabulous and poised.

Exhibit B: What you see here folks is the result of Princess Precious after visiting a new groomer (NOTE: regular groomer is on vacation - the nerve of her LOL - 80 degree weather prompted urgency for a professional bath and trim). What happened you’re probably wondering? Well, that’s the million dollar question of the day!!

During my meet n’ greet and inspection of the new location (yea I was peepin it out), SingleMa requested a “Spring” brushout and trim using 1/4 inch shears (normal jargon among professional groomers). What SingleMa expected was a close cut that Precious could floss in the new weather while maintaining her most prominent Maltese features (i.e. top knot, long ears, and luxurious tail).

Imagine the horror when I picked her up! You see the rat tail and pink skin? Ewwwwwww!! I’ve never told y’all this before, but SingleMa is deathly afraid of rodents. It doesn’t help that her eyes glow in the dark either. Imagine my *cough* bladder malfunction at 2am when she decided to meet me in the hallway. This shyt just aint right!! I wanna call the Better Business Bureau on their azzes!! I need a Consumer Advocacy Agency!! I’m callin my Senator!! Hell, the damn President!! This just aint right! This just aint riiiiiight! *bawling*

::wiping my tears and taking deep breath:: After I calmed down to really think about my dilemma, I realized I should have known better when I asked the groomer to express her anal glands. The request was met with a blank stare, followed by “What do you mean?” ::sigh:: Yep, I should have know better. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault! DAMN DAMN DAMN!

Which leads me to…

Exhibit C: Notice the mischief in her eyes. SingleMa has lived with Princess Precious long enough to know when she’s plotting revenge. As a precautionary measure, all shoes have been secured in place and new toys were purchased to appease the calm before the storm. However, SingleMa and BabyGirl patiently awaits the canine fury to reveal itself soon. Hell, I’d be mad too! LOL

So let’s do a MasterCard analysis:

Jacked Up Haircut: $45.00
(regular groomer charges $35)

Dematting: $5.00
(All of her hair is gone!! WTF was left to be dematted?!?!)

Expression of Anal Glands: 2 *blank stares*
(I received the 2nd one when I asked if this was done)

Tip: $2.00
(cheap tip to let them know I was pissed)

HIDEOUS RAT LOOK: PRICESPEECHLESS

Besides the fact that I wasted $52.00, what fabulous financial did we learn today? Never use professional services that were recommended by your bootleg DVD supplier! When I go back to the salon, Craig n’em gettin cussed the f%ck out!!

Hopefully, one day Precious will forgive me for my lapse in judgment. Until then, I’ll probably have to sleep with one eye open. LOL

HAPPY TUESDAY Y’ALL!!

Peace & Blessings
-SM