Fabulous Financials

You all might think I’m crazy but I really, really, really HATE cash. It disappears too dang quickly and I don’t know where it all goes. Prime example:

Several colleagues and I had lunch at Tivoli’s: large party, one check, automatic 20% gratuity. The bill was ~$280.

No problem.

However, out of 10 people, only 3 came prepared to pay with cash. *sigh*

Problem.

To avoid the confusion that was about to ensue, I offered to pay the bill with my credit card and we would worry about the distribution later. Back at the office, I gave the admin my receipt. She calculated the cost of everyone’s meal and drinks (plus tax and tip), then sent an email to each person with how much they owed me. Their combined total was $255.

No problem.

By COB the next day, I was given an envelope with $280 cash. Did I mention these were very generous colleagues? LOL I can probably guess who, but apparently, someone insisted on paying for my meal.

Of course, NO PROBLEM. LOL!

Unfortunately, it’s been less than a week and I have NO IDEA where it all went. For the life of me, I can not tell you what I bought, when I bought it, or where I bought it. And this burns me up!

In order to control my finances, I need visibility. I need to know how much money I have and where it’s going. With cash, there’s no guaranteed way to do that because when it’s gone, it’s gone. Like magic, just disappears without a trace. There’s nothing to prove it even existed.

$280. Less than one week later. And the only thing I know - it’s gone.

*sigh* Reason #982788 to love my credit cards.

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!

I don’t even know how to explain the 5 minute conversation I just had with my cousin. Let me preface this by saying, she lives in housing and works at Wa.lm.art.

The timing belt on her Daewoo (sp?) broke and she put it in the shop. After nearly 2 weeks, the mechanic told her that the timing belt damaged the engine valve so the car was basically irreparable. She asked about the price of an engine, which turns out to be ~$2,300.

Instead of getting a second opinion - OR
Researching the price of a used engine - OR
Replacing the engine - OR
Looking for a decent used car - OR
Buying a decent used car - OR
Calling Single Ma for her opinion - OR
Asking Single Ma for her help.

This chic goes out and buys a BRAND NEW car!!!

Single Ma: *choke* you did what!

Single Ma’s Cousin: Girl, I got me a new ride!! LOL

SM: *confused* And whyyyyy?

SMC: Umm, so I can get to work.

SM: But why did you need a NEW car? And what kind of car is it?

SMC: It’s not really ‘new’. It’s a 2007 Chevy Malibu.

SM: A Malibu? *rolling my eyez* And how much did you pay for it?

SMC: The man worked it out for me so my payments are only $300/month.

SM: You can’t afford $300/month. HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY FOR IT?

SMC: What do you mean?

SM: The CAR girl! How much did you pay for the car?

SMC: Oh, I don’t know. About $12,000 I think.

[continues to talk but her words are incomprehensible]

SM: *tuning out conversation* Girl, let me call you back.

SMC: *still yapping*

SM: *click*

I don’t even know what to say…

*thinking* I need a glass of wine.

Recently, I noticed my checking account balance was significantly higher than expected.

Woo-Hoo! We have more money to spend for the holidays!, said irrational Single Ma.

Girl, please! Sit yo azz down cuz you know this can’t be right!, said rational Single Ma.

Yea, I have two personalities when it comes to spending money. They battle with each other often, but 9x out of 10, the rational side wins. Thank goodness.

I logged into my bank account and noticed an extra $1,000 plus and change. Wish I could say it was an early gift from a loved one, but I haven’t been so fortunate. Yet. Although I wanted to rejoice and think I made an accounting error in my favor, the actual number was peculiar because it wasn’t a nice round figure. Instead, it was a specific amount with change to the penny. A number that looked awfully familiar. You know, something very similar to my mortgage payment. Hmm…interesting.

::pause::

Hol’up, wait. WTF…

MY MORTGAGE PAYMENT????????!!!!!!!!!

…the following took place in a span of 30 seconds.

—————————————————-

[scanning the screen]

Yep, two payments posted on the 3rd.

One for the first loan and one for the second.

But the payment for the first loan was returned on the 6th.

What the fugg??????????

[check previous payment history]

Amount correct.

[check online billpay confirmation page]

Everything processed as usual.

[check email history for lender's confirmation of payment received]

Nada.

[keep looking, scroll through page 2]

Nada.

*thinking* Hmm…

[logon to mortgage website]

*poking around* Doody doo…

[check to see if account had been sold]

Nope.

[check payment history]

Last payment posted on 5 November 2007.

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech….

[check today's date]

7 December 2007.

[irrational Single Ma butts in, ready to open a can of whoop azz]

- it’s Friday night after 10pm
- need to talk to mortgage company
- need to talk to bank
- somebody betta ‘xplain!
- late payment = late fee
- late fee = credit report
- incompetent customer service will take over an hour to resolve problem
- f*ck!

[rational Single Ma]

*smack* Didn’t I say sit yo azz down?! Geez!

[continues to search mortgage website]

Same payment since December 2006. Everything looks normal.

::pause::

*thinking* December 2006. December 2007…

[search for November 2006 payment]

Well I’ll be damn!

—————————————————-

You might recall the lovely, yet unexpected surprise I received in November 2006. An escrow refund and a mortgage reduction. Very nice…and timely might I add. Then, exactly one year later, it happened again in November 2007. Another escrow refund but this letter made no mention of a mortgage adjustment. I think any reasonable person could put 2 + 2 together and assume, previous refund = mortgage reduction, subsequent (but smaller) refund = subsequent (but smaller) mortgage reduction. Right?

With that logic, I erred on the side of caution and assumed there was no mortgage reduction at all. I scheduled December’s payment for the first business day of the month, recorded the payment date and confirmation number in MS Money, noted the payment when it posted to my checking account, and continued with life as usual. That is, until I noticed this extra money.

A little more digging on my bank’s website revealed a message from customer service:

Date: 12/6/2007

To: xx

From: Customer Service

Subject: Online Message

Message:

Dear Ms. Single Ma,This email is to inform you the payment to xx Bank was returned to us. The details of the transaction are as follows:

- Returned Due To: Incorrect Payment Amount
- Payee Name: xx Bank
- Amount: $1,xxx.xx
- Date: 12/3/2007

Our records indicate this payment was returned by the payee indicating they will not accept partial or over payments; therefore, your funding account will be credited for this payment amount within 2-5 business days.

We recommend you verify the account information with the payee, and update your payee list prior to scheduling future payments.

Please note: You may have to schedule a new payment or make alternate arrangements.

If you need further assistance, please contact us by e-mail using the ‘Contact Us’ feature at usaa.com.

Sincerely,
xx
Electronic Banking Bill Payment Specialist
USAA Federal Savings Bank

Then a little more digging on my mortgage company’s website revealed the payment amount, effective 1 December, had INCREASED. And guess by how much? $10.17. Yep, you saw that right. Although my payment history clearly shows the same amount for the past year that has always been paid ON TIME, these fuggas returned a twelve hunnid dollar payment for $10.17!!

::about to be dead::

[recap]

- mortgage company sends escrow refund to customer
- escrow refunds are processed due to OVER payments
- despite escrow REFUND, mortgage company INCREASES mortgage payment
- mortgage company does not notify customer of change

- customer processes monthly payment as usual
- same payment made for past 11 months

- mortgage company receives payment on the 3rd
- mortgage company returns payment on the 6th
- customer notices returned payment on the 7th
- customer confused

- after research, mortgage company notifies bank that neither partial payments NOR overpayments are acceptable
- customer really confused
- customer discovers escrow adjustment increased payment by $10.17

- customer must reschedule payment (+$10.17)
- any payments rec’d after __ will incur a late fee
- via online bill pay, new payment will not be received until 11th
- potential late fee is $____

Remind me again. All of this is over how much?

TEN DOLLARS AND SEVENTEEN CENTS.

You have GOT to be fuggin kidding me!

I love the DC area because I’m surrounded by friends and associates who are exactly like me - young, educated, career oriented, progressive, financially savvy, like-minded individuals. Although we share similar interests, we all bring something unique to the table. Our differences complement one another, and even when we disagree, it’s with a mutual respect. None of my friends are biological relatives, but I consider them my family. When we’re together, I feel comfortable and at home.

On the other hand, home - the geographical location where my maternal family members reside - doesn’t quite feel like “home” anymore. I don’t visit often, but when I do, I’m reminded of why each visit becomes fewer and farther between. Is it possible to outgrow your own family? I love them with every fiber of my being, but some of their behavior makes absolutely no sense to me. For example:

1 - A conversation with my aunt who drives a 2006 Ford Expedition.

I just saw the new 2008 and I’m thinking about getting one.

Why, what’s wrong with the one you have?

It doesn’t have all the features I want. Plus I’m ready for something different.

You’re going to buy a new truck because you want more “features?” Are you serious? After 2 years, isn’t it half paid for by now?

Yea, but so what. I’ll always have a car payment anyway.

*blank stare*

2 - A conversation with two cousins about Black Friday sales.

Hey SM, you going with us to Walmart tomorrow.

I don’t know, what time you going?

We’ll probably get up around 4 cuz the store opens at 5.

*smacks my teeth* Oh hellz to the naw! I aint getting up at the crack of dawn with y’all heffas. And for what anyway?

We’re going to get Bratz dolls.

*blink*

Girl, they’ll be on sale for $10!

So?

And the regular price is $19.97!

*blink* x 2

3 - A conversation with my Mom as she warns me about a cousin who thinks the world is against her.

Have you seen B yet?

Nope, not yet. How is she doing anyway?

Wait ’til you see her. I’ll let you judge for yourself.

Oh lawd, what has she been up to?

*lowers her voice* [we're the only two in the house lol] I’ma go ‘head and tell you, but you aint heard it from me. When you see her, she’s going to tell you anyway. So act surprised. OK?

[silent, waiting for her to spill the beans]

[giving me the side eye as she tilts her head like "you heard WTF I just said!" lol]

*laughing* Aight ma, I’ll act surprised! Just tell me, dang! LOL

*smack* What I tell you ’bout saying that word around me.

Sh…I mean, my bad. That aint even a cuss word. *turn my head to roll my eyes* So you gonna tell me or what?

Hmph! You might as well say the cuss word. Dang. Dag. Damn. It’s all the same to me! But yea girl, she’s living in a shelter! *pause for effect* And she’s not speaking to anyone but S [her sister] because she thinks WE “let” her get kicked out of her apartment.

*shocked* Daaaang…oops, I’m sorry ma. But why is she living in a shelter! And why didn’t y’all call me if she needed something!?!

Cuz I wasn’t about to bother you with her crap. Trust me, you don’t know the half.

Well, why did she get kicked out?

Why you think!? Cuz she aint pay the damn rent! See, that’s how you cuss. *smile*

But I thought she was on that program.

She is, but she’s still responsible to pay some of it herself. She got behind 3 months and they evicted her.

Well da…I mean, how much was her portion!?!?

I’m not sure, but S told me it was only $50/month.

*cross-eyed*

Stop looking at me like that before I slap you again. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. You better act surprised when she tells you!

[silent and in shock]

You hear me?!?

[doing the mental math ($50 x 3) - still in shock]

Shyt! Well just don’t say *I* told you. LOL

As I sit in the comfort of my NoVA apartment, I recall many more examples of what I consider irrational behavior. Eventually, I accept the fact that there are some things in life I’ll never understand.

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!

BabyGirl and I went shopping to buy her a dress for the Homecoming Dance. Before leaving the house, I told her the budget was $30. Since dance tix cost $10 and shoes will probably cost no more than $20, the total Homecoming budget was set at $60. She’d saved $40 of her own money and I promised to buy the shoes. <--hidden agenda: trying to get her out of sneakers and into more feminine attire.

We shopped high and low, hitting all of our favorite spots, and inspecting every clearance rack known to man. After about 2 hours and 5 stores, we found the perfect dress. It looks soooo cute on her. Halter (removable spaghetti straps), pink and brown polka dots, satin belt around the waste. A little something like this:

Not only did she like the dress. I loved it! I think it will be perfect with ballerina flats so her dawgs won’t be screaming when she’s tryna crank that Soulja Boy. LOL!

Problem is, the dress was $40. Initially, I said no because it was over budget, so we kept looking. But nothing else compared and we were drawn back to the pink & brown (my favorite colors) dress. Reluctantly (I’m lying), I offered to give her the extra $10 if she was willing to work it off or pay me back out of her future allowance.

As always, my intent is to teach her the importance of sticking to a budget. My standard motto: when you don’t have enough money, you make choices. Best case, save and feel good about your purchase because it was earned. Worst case, do without or suffer the consequences later.

In this case, I’ve probably accomplished the exact opposite. Instead of teaching her to spend within limits, buying this dress taught her how easy it is to get what you want RIGHT NOW with borrowed money (credit) and pay for it later.

In a way, I feel terrible.

In a way, I don’t care. I wanted THAT dress.

*sigh* What type of message did I send?

Damn! I hope this doesn’t bite me in the azz later.

*shrug* Oh well, at least she’ll be cute. Ha!

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!