Fabulous Financials

And I’m so happy!!  Wait, that didn’t come out right.  I, Single Ma, did not get a new “biological” family - although that would be nice too LOL - but I exchanged my randomly assigned “adopted” family for a new one.  I struggled with the idea, but I finally decided to call the agency and tell them I wasn’t happy with the family I received.  Within minutes, I received a fax with a list of family profiles to choose from.  This is how it was done in previous years and I prefer it this way.  I have no idea why the process really changed and no idea why it was so easy to switch back, but they didn’t ask any questions and I didn’t either.  At first, I felt really bad.  But 0.5 seconds after choosing my new family for the holidays, the negative feelings disappeared.

This family speaks English.  A single mom with 5 children in the home.  Two young adults, but she has 3 little ones: 1 boy and 2 girls between the ages of 7 and 13.  Their wish list is still pretty vague (games, sports stuff, baby dolls, etc.) but more in line with what I expect from children.  So I called the mom to learn a little bit more about their likes/dislikes.

• The boy is a die hard Redskins fan.  He was quarterback on his football team and named MVP when they won the championship this year.  He loves skateboarding too.  Mr. EC is going to take care of him.  He has season tickets and mentioned taking the boy to a Redskins game.  How cool is that?!
• The youngest girl is having trouble reading.  She likes Bratz and Hannah Montana.  What little girl doesn’t?  She’ll be easy.
• The older girl is into makeup and jewelry.  Oh, how I remember those days.  She also loves singing in the mirror with a brush.  A BabyGirl repeat.  Shopping for her will be fun!!

Now I need to make my Santa list.  I want to buy each child an outfit, something fun, something educational for the little one, and something for the entire family to do together.  My focus is on the children, but if I’m feeling generous, the mom and two oldest girls might get something too.

My first order of business is helping them with food for Thanksgiving.  My friend’s church is having a Share Food Network drive, so I’m donating money to the church in exchange for a food basket.  The option I chose includes a 10-12 lb turkey, a whole chicken, ground turkey, elbow macaroni, stuffing mix, broccoli, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, peppers, onions, apples, and oranges.  All of that for $35!!  Great deal, huh?  I’ll probably throw in a grocery store gift card so she can pick up other staples and goodies too.

Let the holiday season begin.

I’z ready now!!

I’ve been extra happy lately because we’re about to enter my most favorite time of the year - the winter holiday season.  I love the spirit of the holidays.  I love spending time with family, eating lots of different food I haven’t had all year long, buying gifts for others, time off work, etc.  But one of the main things I look forward to is adopting a family for the holidays.

I usually complete a volunteer application in mid-October and choose a family in early November.  The agency will fax me a list of about 10 need requests and I let BabyGirl choose who she wants to adopt for the holidays.  She usually picks a family that has 2 or more children, at least one girl, and one child around her age range.  Then, for the rest of the year, BabyGirl and I are responsible for delivering a food basket on Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as buying gifts for the children on Christmas.

When BabyGirl finally narrows down her choice (we have 1 week to review), I notify the agency and immediately contact the parent/guardian to build a rapport.  I do not impose on their privacy, but I create a tone that allows them to share whatever they are comfortable sharing, and I the same.  Once they learn that I’m a single parent, it creates an unspoken bond of understanding and trust.  Then I learn a little more about the children and their family life.  This exchange warms my heart because it reminds me that there is still good in the world, despite troubled times.  After that human connection, I begin to review the list of ‘needs’ provided by the agency, which is always reasonable.  Sometimes I might throw in a few extra based on something I learned about the family after speaking with the parent/guardian.  Conversely, the list of ‘wants’ may be a little over the top - think Wii, PS3, Seven jeans, etc.  I have to laugh and remind myself that these are children exposed to our materialistic world.  But no matter what, I try to get all of their ‘needs’ and most of their ‘wants’ that are within my budget.

I love shopping for my adopted family, but my greatest pleasure is on the day of delivery.  About a week before Thanksgiving, BabyGirl and I deliver food baskets.  I buy whatever they say they need, including the turkey.  It never fails - no matter who they are, where they live, their race, their age, or income bracket - I’m always invited into their modest home for a meal or at least something to drink.  I politely decline to stay for dinner, but I usually chat for a little while.  Maybe 15 minutes or so, especially if the children are home.  Same thing for Christmas.  I love seeing the looks on the children’s faces when we deliver the packages.  I especially love the look from mom (and sometimes dad) when she sees a little something thrown in for her too.  The family is always so appreciative, and for some reason, the children fall in love with BabyGirl.

Three years ago, BabyGirl developed a friendship with a girl from our adopted family.  The little girl cried when we moved away.  I bought her a $10 calling card just so she could call BabyGirl whenever she wanted.  Two years ago, the children bought BabyGirl a Christmas gift.  It was a super tiny bear in a super tiny gift bag and the bear’s scarf said “THANKS!”  Here we were delivering gifts for them and they had something for us too.  It spoke volumes to me about how the children were being raised.  BabyGirl cried a bucket of tears when the smallest one handed it to her.  She’s kept that lil’ bear on her nightstand ever since.

As you can see, adopting a family for the holidays has become a tradition for us.  We get immense pleasure from helping those in need and seeing the direct impact of our contributions.  We give a little and receive a lot in return.  It’s a win, win situation for all.  We’ve done it this way for the past 5 years and it’s something we look forward to every year.

Well, the agency we’re affiliated with has decided to do things a little differently this year.  Apparently, some families were not being chosen.  The reason(s) were varied, but the new head of the agency thought it was unfair.  So this year, the needy family was randomly assigned to a volunteer family.  This is who we received:

Parent/Guardian Name: xx

Address: xx

Phone: none

Does family speak English: No

If no, primary language: Spanish

Number of adults in household: 3

Number of children in household: 2

1st Child’s Name: xx

1st Child’s Age: 10

1st Child’s Gender: male

1st Child’s size: 14

1st Child’s wish list: gift certificate

2nd Child’s Name: xx

2nd Child’s Age: 4

2nd Child’s Gender: male

2nd Child’s size: 6

2nd Child’s wish list: gift certificate

Hmm…now I see several things wrong with this picture (see bold emphasis), but I won’t go there.  BabyGirl is not happy about this at all.  Neither am I.  But I believe everything happens for a reason, so there’s something we’re both supposed to learn about giving.

I just haven’t figured it out yet…

[image credit: www.smileycollector.com]

And the winners of Friday’s contest for the Nuru personal finance cards are as follows:

onlinediva34 with the 14th comment

and…

LobotoME (Jenny) with the 18th comment

The question was “share a tip (or 20) on how you manage your finances during this economic crisis.”  Jenny’s comment made me pause for the cause, so I wanted to share it again for those who missed it:

We are planning for simple holidays this year - we are giving our kids 4 gifts only (plus one from santa). The 4 gifts are in these categories.

1 Want
1 Need
1 To Do/Create
1 Read

We are also doing more to help others…while our bank accounts/401k accounts have taken a hit, we still have our businesses and our home..and our health…a lot to be thankful for. So this is a good time to teach compassion and empathy to our kids and help those less fortunate.

When I read her comment, I paused - literally.  I felt selfish for thinking about all the things I will do for myself and my family.  I felt selfish for not thinking about the people who were already struggling, and will now struggle even more.  I felt selfish for thinking about how I can save more, without a single thought about how I can give more.

Then…after I let the comment marinate, I felt motivated, empowered, and happy again.  For one…Christmas depends on BabyGirl’s report card - she’s currently trying to resuscitate that C in trig - it aint looking good.  And two…I don’t intend to buy gifts for the entire family like I have in the past - let the fat guy do his job, he gets all the credit anyway. Hmph!  That alone is a savings of at least $200!  In addition, I’m on track with my planned financial changes, so another couple hundred can be used to help a family in need.  I’d already completed the holiday program donor form at one of my favorite charities, so the timing is perfect.  I can’t think of a better way to change my finances by minimizing excess at home and helping those less fortunate.

Wooo weee for me!

…and CONGRATS to the winners!

An old adage that has proven itself to me time and time again.

Back in May, I expected a significant increase in nonrecurring expenses. In this post, I noted:

Nonrecurring Expenses (current through July)

• $700 - Vacation(s) spending money
• $500 - Orthodontist
• $410 - Car insurance premium
• $200 - BabyGirl’s birthday
• $150 - Annual vet appt
• $100+ - Auto registration renewal
• $100 - Brother’s birthday
• $100 - Friend(s) birthdays
• $60 - Annual checkups
• $55 - Rental Ads

That’s almost $2,500!! Now how the heck am I supposed to pay for all of that? Oh yea, that funny thing called a pay check…[<--you know that was sarcasm, right?]

As I planned for these expenses, I thought we would have a tight budget summer - that is…until the unexpected cash flow began to show up. And not a minute too soon!

Last month, I received a $900 tax rebate/stimulus check. Despite having ~$2,500 in upcoming expenses, I chose to donate $500 to charity. Although I needed the money, I felt compelled to give, so I did without hesitation. And the blessings were returned tenfold.

FIRST UNEXPECTED CHECK

A few weeks ago, I received a ~$1,200 check from my previous employer for retro taxes. The whole relocation bonus and claim was new to me, so I was beyond confused. I had to claim the bonus as income, but I couldn’t claim the moving expenses as deductions. *confused* Anyhoo, I knew I was going to get something back from my employer, but I didn’t know when OR how much. The refund was more than I expected and the timing couldn’t have been better.

SECOND UNEXPECTED CHECK

This past weekend, I received another unexpected check. I can’t explain the details but it’s related to a lawsuit I filed last year. After the judge ruled in my favor, my attorney asked for restitution, which was granted. However, the defendant was given ONE YEAR to pay, plus I had to justify the amount of my claim with supporting docs to be reviewed by the court. So again, I knew I would receive something, but I didn’t know when OR how much. Imagine my surprise when I saw a money order from the DA’s office for the entire amount of my request.

In total, I’ve received over $2,000 in unexpected cash this month.

I strongly believe this is a testament of how everything comes full circle. Put others’ NEEDS before your WANTS, be a joyous giver, and watch it all come back to you.

I opened my mail and already regret the selfish post I just wrote 10 minutes ago.

Remember the PF Bloggers Financial Literacy Challenge when we donated $$ to DonorsChoose.org back in October? Well I just received a package from them today. It includes an itemized list of everything they purchased with my donation, a letter from the teacher (signed in blue ink), SEVERAL thank you drawings/notes from the children (they are sooooo cute), AND pictures of the children using the pencils, calculators, and play checkbooks.

HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!?!?

My BabyGirl is sitting here reading the letters from the children and she is so thrilled. She goes “oh ma, let’s give me them more money!” I’m like WTF! YOU aint give them ish…I did. LOL

But it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I don’t even want any of that stuff anymore.

Ok, maybe just some of them. LOL

~*~*~*~*~*~
Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!

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