Fabulous Financials

The first party of my birthday season was a success!  It was initially canceled due to several inches of snow that decided to blanket the DMV, but I didn’t get upset.  Why?  Because it’s easy to bribe people with food my friends are the best.  Two of them delivered my new tree on Friday night before the storm and a few others stopped by on Sunday to deliver the gifted ornaments – one of which was very interesting.

The new tree is about 6ft, so I plan to donate the 8.5 ft tree that we used in our house.  It was way too much work to put up, decorate, and take down – and the box took up unnecessary storage space in my little apartment.  So this new tree was one of my birthday gifts and I prepared a spread of finger foods and snacks for my friends while we decorated.  After several drinks and lots of laughter, this was the final result:

According to German legend, the pickle brings good luck. After all the other ornaments are hung on the tree, the pickle ornament is hidden somewhere within the branches. Legend has it that the observant child who finds the pickle on Christmas Day is blessed with a year of good fortune…and a special gift.  In present day, the pickle tradition encourages young children to enjoy the many ornaments on the tree before checking to see what Santa Clause brought them. [source]

Charlie Brown aint got nothing on me, yo!

After decorating the tree, we delivered several unwrapped gifts to the teen that we adopted for the holidays.  Lawd, did they go overboard with the gifts!  But it’s all love and in the spirit of Christmas.  Now, I’m back home in my fleece pajamas and drinking a cup of Swiss Miss French Vanilla hot chocolate.  It’s been a great day!

[image credit]

I donate money in support of various causes throughout the year, which equates to about 10% of my income.  But lately, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I wasn’t giving enough.  My life has been abundantly blessed in so many different ways, I felt as if my menial contributions were disappointing God.  To whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48).  I thought of writing a bigger check, but that would have been too easy…and in vain.  I wanted to do more, but I didn’t know what.  So I prayed about it.  I prayed for God to use me at his will.  After weeks of soul searching, I stumbled upon several opportunities that spoke to my heart.

I registered for a Young Mothers Assistance program to help teenage mothers transition to a life of self sufficiency.  I am happy about this opportunity for several reasons: 1) I can personally relate to these girls and sympathize with their situations, 2) I have so much to offer them by way of skills, encouragement, and life experience, and 3) there are mutual benefits because I’d be overjoyed if I can make a difference in at least one of their lives.  I have to be interviewed, pass a drug test and clear the background investigation, so it may be January before I can start.

Naturally, any changes in my life also influence my child.  BabyGirl decided to volunteer for an Aging Adult Pet Therapy program where she and Precious will visit elderly people who love animals.  I hesitated at first because she already has a full schedule with her AP workload and extracurricular activities, but it worked out because she only has to commit to 4 hours per month.  BabyGirl loves to listen to little old ladies talk about life “back in their day” and I’m sure my dog will love the extra attention and belly rubs.

We’ve also decided on a different approach for our holiday gift donations this year.  Instead of adopting a family, BabyGirl chose a local program that provides shelter and group therapy for at risk teens that have been removed from their homes.  If she only knew – she almost became one of them about two years ago.  LOL!  Lord, I thank you for carrying us through!  Anyhoo, she wants to adopt a teenager so s/he will know that someone is thinking of them.  To be honest, I’d rather adopt a family with small kids, but I’m gonna roll with her suggestion this time.

We also registered to assemble food baskets and deliver Meals on Wheels during the week before Thanksgiving.  They don’t know it yet, but we passed on the names of our closest friends.  Hey, if we can shop and party together, we can volunteer together too!  LOL!

In what ways do you give back to your community?

And I’m so happy!!  Wait, that didn’t come out right.  I, Single Ma, did not get a new “biological” family – although that would be nice too LOL – but I exchanged my randomly assigned “adopted” family for a new one.  I struggled with the idea, but I finally decided to call the agency and tell them I wasn’t happy with the family I received.  Within minutes, I received a fax with a list of family profiles to choose from.  This is how it was done in previous years and I prefer it this way.  I have no idea why the process really changed and no idea why it was so easy to switch back, but they didn’t ask any questions and I didn’t either.  At first, I felt really bad.  But 0.5 seconds after choosing my new family for the holidays, the negative feelings disappeared.

This family speaks English.  A single mom with 5 children in the home.  Two young adults, but she has 3 little ones: 1 boy and 2 girls between the ages of 7 and 13.  Their wish list is still pretty vague (games, sports stuff, baby dolls, etc.) but more in line with what I expect from children.  So I called the mom to learn a little bit more about their likes/dislikes.

• The boy is a die hard Redskins fan.  He was quarterback on his football team and named MVP when they won the championship this year.  He loves skateboarding too.  Mr. EC is going to take care of him.  He has season tickets and mentioned taking the boy to a Redskins game.  How cool is that?!
• The youngest girl is having trouble reading.  She likes Bratz and Hannah Montana.  What little girl doesn’t?  She’ll be easy.
• The older girl is into makeup and jewelry.  Oh, how I remember those days.  She also loves singing in the mirror with a brush.  A BabyGirl repeat.  Shopping for her will be fun!!

Now I need to make my Santa list.  I want to buy each child an outfit, something fun, something educational for the little one, and something for the entire family to do together.  My focus is on the children, but if I’m feeling generous, the mom and two oldest girls might get something too.

My first order of business is helping them with food for Thanksgiving.  My friend’s church is having a Share Food Network drive, so I’m donating money to the church in exchange for a food basket.  The option I chose includes a 10-12 lb turkey, a whole chicken, ground turkey, elbow macaroni, stuffing mix, broccoli, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, peppers, onions, apples, and oranges.  All of that for $35!!  Great deal, huh?  I’ll probably throw in a grocery store gift card so she can pick up other staples and goodies too.

Let the holiday season begin.

I’z ready now!! :-)

I’ve been extra happy lately because we’re about to enter my most favorite time of the year – the winter holiday season.  I love the spirit of the holidays.  I love spending time with family, eating lots of different food I haven’t had all year long, buying gifts for others, time off work, etc.  But one of the main things I look forward to is adopting a family for the holidays.

I usually complete a volunteer application in mid-October and choose a family in early November.  The agency will fax me a list of about 10 need requests and I let BabyGirl choose who she wants to adopt for the holidays.  She usually picks a family that has 2 or more children, at least one girl, and one child around her age range.  Then, for the rest of the year, BabyGirl and I are responsible for delivering a food basket on Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as buying gifts for the children on Christmas.

When BabyGirl finally narrows down her choice (we have 1 week to review), I notify the agency and immediately contact the parent/guardian to build a rapport.  I do not impose on their privacy, but I create a tone that allows them to share whatever they are comfortable sharing, and I the same.  Once they learn that I’m a single parent, it creates an unspoken bond of understanding and trust.  Then I learn a little more about the children and their family life.  This exchange warms my heart because it reminds me that there is still good in the world, despite troubled times.  After that human connection, I begin to review the list of ‘needs’ provided by the agency, which is always reasonable.  Sometimes I might throw in a few extra based on something I learned about the family after speaking with the parent/guardian.  Conversely, the list of ‘wants’ may be a little over the top – think Wii, PS3, Seven jeans, etc.  I have to laugh and remind myself that these are children exposed to our materialistic world.  But no matter what, I try to get all of their ‘needs’ and most of their ‘wants’ that are within my budget.

I love shopping for my adopted family, but my greatest pleasure is on the day of delivery.  About a week before Thanksgiving, BabyGirl and I deliver food baskets.  I buy whatever they say they need, including the turkey.  It never fails – no matter who they are, where they live, their race, their age, or income bracket – I’m always invited into their modest home for a meal or at least something to drink.  I politely decline to stay for dinner, but I usually chat for a little while.  Maybe 15 minutes or so, especially if the children are home.  Same thing for Christmas.  I love seeing the looks on the children’s faces when we deliver the packages.  I especially love the look from mom (and sometimes dad) when she sees a little something thrown in for her too.  The family is always so appreciative, and for some reason, the children fall in love with BabyGirl.

Three years ago, BabyGirl developed a friendship with a girl from our adopted family.  The little girl cried when we moved away.  I bought her a $10 calling card just so she could call BabyGirl whenever she wanted.  Two years ago, the children bought BabyGirl a Christmas gift.  It was a super tiny bear in a super tiny gift bag and the bear’s scarf said “THANKS!”  Here we were delivering gifts for them and they had something for us too.  It spoke volumes to me about how the children were being raised.  BabyGirl cried a bucket of tears when the smallest one handed it to her.  She’s kept that lil’ bear on her nightstand ever since.

As you can see, adopting a family for the holidays has become a tradition for us.  We get immense pleasure from helping those in need and seeing the direct impact of our contributions.  We give a little and receive a lot in return.  It’s a win, win situation for all.  We’ve done it this way for the past 5 years and it’s something we look forward to every year.

Well, the agency we’re affiliated with has decided to do things a little differently this year.  Apparently, some families were not being chosen.  The reason(s) were varied, but the new head of the agency thought it was unfair.  So this year, the needy family was randomly assigned to a volunteer family.  This is who we received:

Parent/Guardian Name: xx

Address: xx

Phone: none

Does family speak English: No

If no, primary language: Spanish

Number of adults in household: 3

Number of children in household: 2

1st Child’s Name: xx

1st Child’s Age: 10

1st Child’s Gender: male

1st Child’s size: 14

1st Child’s wish list: gift certificate

2nd Child’s Name: xx

2nd Child’s Age: 4

2nd Child’s Gender: male

2nd Child’s size: 6

2nd Child’s wish list: gift certificate

Hmm…now I see several things wrong with this picture (see bold emphasis), but I won’t go there.  BabyGirl is not happy about this at all.  Neither am I.  But I believe everything happens for a reason, so there’s something we’re both supposed to learn about giving.

I just haven’t figured it out yet…

[image credit: www.smileycollector.com]

And the winners of Friday’s contest for the Nuru personal finance cards are as follows:

onlinediva34 with the 14th comment

and…

LobotoME (Jenny) with the 18th comment

The question was “share a tip (or 20) on how you manage your finances during this economic crisis.”  Jenny’s comment made me pause for the cause, so I wanted to share it again for those who missed it:

We are planning for simple holidays this year – we are giving our kids 4 gifts only (plus one from santa). The 4 gifts are in these categories.

1 Want
1 Need
1 To Do/Create
1 Read

We are also doing more to help others…while our bank accounts/401k accounts have taken a hit, we still have our businesses and our home..and our health…a lot to be thankful for. So this is a good time to teach compassion and empathy to our kids and help those less fortunate.

When I read her comment, I paused – literally.  I felt selfish for thinking about all the things I will do for myself and my family.  I felt selfish for not thinking about the people who were already struggling, and will now struggle even more.  I felt selfish for thinking about how I can save more, without a single thought about how I can give more.

Then…after I let the comment marinate, I felt motivated, empowered, and happy again.  For one…Christmas depends on BabyGirl’s report card – she’s currently trying to resuscitate that C in trig/pre-Cal.  It aint looking good.  And two…I don’t intend to buy gifts for the entire family like I have in the past – let the fat guy do his job, he gets all the credit anyway. Hmph!  That alone is a savings of at least $200!  In addition, I’m on track with my planned financial changes, so another couple hundred can be used to help a family in need.  I’d already completed the holiday program donor form at one of my favorite charities, so the timing is perfect.  I can’t think of a better way to change my finances by minimizing excess at home and helping those less fortunate.

Wooo weee for me!

…and CONGRATS to the winners! ;-)