Fabulous Financials

I’ve been working 12+ hour days this week. Monday through Thursday, locked down in a conference room with five other subject matter experts. We all bring something significant to the table, but our views from where we sit are vastly different. Each expert has to protect the interest of his/her functional area, yet we’re all supposed to agree - or should I say - reach a consensus that we can live with.  Do you realize how impossible that is? Ok, let me paint a picture.

Imagine 6 “A” type personalities, respected experts, intelligent, demanding, in a conference room, together, all day.  We have to analyze a gazillion issues, concur with the feasibility of the solutions, and commit our respective teams to the implementation.  *sigh*  Kill me now…

This has been the largest project I’ve ever worked on, considering the dollar value and number of people affected by the outcome. A project that, if successfully completed, will write me a ticket to anywhere I want to go next in my career. But it has drained everything I have in me.

I’ve been eating poorly and dining out everyday - all three meals from fabulous restaurants: Maggiano, Delia, Acadiana, Tabaq Bistro, Georgia Brown, B. Smith, etc.  Some meals were expensed, some were not.  My tracking tells me that I’ve spent $267 dining out this month, but I haven’t input all expenses to date.  I’ve only worked out twice this week.  Although I do plan to get in two more by Saturday.  Can’t let everything fall by the wayside, need to stay on track somewhere.

Not to mention that I’ve been neglecting my child this week. She’s taking end of year exams and under a lot of pressure as well. The most encouragement I’ve given her is “good luck” as I’m rushing out the door at 7am and “how was the test?” after 9pm when she’s already in bed. At times like this, I feel like the worst mom in the world. But thankfully, she’s a good kid.

I know it bothers her that I’m not home when she needs me, but she hasn’t complained one bit. When I’m really busy with work, we fall into a routine.  Any leftovers I bring home, she eats for dinner the next day. I call when I think she’s home from school, she gives me the highlights and we chat for about 10 minutes, I check on her again around 6pm to make sure there are no teen-nanigans going on, but I do not imply when I’ll be home.  Sometime after 9pm, I return to discover that my house is clean, the dog is alive, and there are no signs of wild parties.  For all I know, she’s probably cutting the fool in my absence, but she respects my boundaries, which is all I expect from a teenager.  Oh, and her exam scores have all been in the advanced range.

I made a mental note to get up and fix her breakfast this morning.  A full spread of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and grits.  My intentions were to send her off with a good meal on her last day of exams.  But sometime between crawling into bed after midnight and hearing the piercing sound of her alarm at 6am, I completely lost all mental coordination.  I told myself that I’d only lay there for a few more minutes.  Before I knew it, I heard her enter my room to whisper our standard “see you later” (we don’t say “goodbye”).  Then she was out the door.  Damn, I dropped the ball again!  But at least I remembered to yell “good luck with your test!” while my head was still nestled under the covers.  I doubt if she heard me, but that has to count for something. Right?

Now that she’s off to school, my colleagues have traveled back to their respective states, and I’m left alone with my guilty conscience, I’ve decided to console myself by sleeping the day away.  What?!  If I know my daughter like I know my daughter - she’s a spitting image of me - she’s going to use the events of this week to her advantage.  From the minute she returns home this afternoon, I’ll need my energy to address her every beck and call for the next four days.

Thank gawd for Fridays off, paydays, and extended holiday weekends!

Goodnight, morning, ah whatever!  I’m going back to sleep now.