How Will We Pay for College?
I had a conversation with a trusted friend about BabyGirl’s college expenses. I was hemming and hawing and complaining about everything under the sun explaining to him that if BG didn’t get a (at minimum, partial) scholarship to attend her #1 school of choice, we may have to resort to a state school due to limited funding. After our conversation, he made me realize something I had not considered. First, he asked…
“How much is the est annual cost to attend her #1 school of choice?”
“Umm…about $25-30k per year, all considered.” I rattled off the number very slowly for emphasis.
“So…how much were you earning just a few months ago?” he continued.
“$xk” I said matter-of-factly because he knew how much I earned at my last job.
“Aaaand…how much do you earn now – at your new gig?” he asked with a smirk on his face, as if he was making a point.
“About $20k more…” I said and rolled my eyes because I saw where he was going with this.
“Single Ma, I know I don’t need me to tell you this, but don’t block your blessings. Let BG go to the school of her choice. God has already made it possible for you, kiddo.” he lectured, then pat me on the head as if he was The Old Wise one now.
“Hmm…I see your point. But if she gets down there and starts acting a fool, I might have to roll up on that campus in my hair rollers, scarf, housecoat, and bedroom slippers!” I responded with a slight laugh, although I was more serious than I let on.
“Well if she isn’t maintaining her grades or running behind some hoodrat, then you have every right to bust a cap…I mean cut her off. LOL I’m just saying…let her go. God has already made a way so you don’t have to worry about where you’ll get the money. You know education is important…it changed your life. Now invest in your daughter’s future.” he said to me with a very serious look on his face.
“Yea, you may be right…I’ll think about it.” I said, then exhaled a big ole’ sigh.
So here I am, thinking about allowing my BabyGirl to attend the #1 school of her choice, regardless of the financial outcome. Maybe God has prepared me for this moment. I have no debt (except mortgage), about $50k in cash, another $10k in non-retirement investments, and enough disposable income to take on a second mortgage college tuition bill.
Funny. God knows what you need before you even ask Him. (Matthew 6:8)
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I don’t know why this post made me tear up, but it did. God is so amazing…I mean really, really amazing. People always say it, but to see it is something special. Not only is he fulfilling your dreams in your career, but he’s used that to help fulfill your daughter’s dreams. That’s some powerful stuff. Yay, for BabyGirl, you, and your wise friend. Lol.
It’s taken me 30+ years to realize that some of the things He allows to happen TO me aint even ABOUT me. Isn’t that something? [-SM]
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I am sure whatever you choose, it will be the right choice for you and BG.
Still, what a great turn of events :)
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Our God is an AWSOME God!!!!!
I know that is hard, I allowed (went with her choice) to go away and now two semesters in London!!
God is awsome and gives us the opportunity to let this happen!!
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You and your friend are correct about a good education is important. We also know that a good education does not cost 100k out of the students/parents pockets. Here’s to hoping that #1 school tosses some Free Money in you alls direction.
Best wishes.
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It’s great and truly a blessing that you are able to send your child to the school of her choice. My parent’s struggled to send me to my #1 school but I messed up…ie ran behind some hoodrat boy and got pregnant my junior year. They told me that I had to move back here and any schooling would be on my own. So now I’m finishing up my degree 4 years after I was suppose to be finished out of my own pocket. I appreciate my education more now that I’m paying for it but I appreciate my parents more knowing what they did to make sure I had a good education. You probably already know this but most schools let you pay monthly for tuition. In my case, the tuition was split into 10 monthly payments. That made it at least feasible for my parents to pay it. At least you won’t have to come out of pocket in one lump sum.
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I love that exchange! Sometimes we need a little reminder of our blessings. Yes, God has provided and that provision may come in the form of scholarships.
That is what I’m still hoping for. [-SM]
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I’ve been reading your blog for about 1.5 years now and never commented before…now don’t get me wrong all your posts have been awesome, but I’ve just never felt compelled to add to what was already said. Now I do.
This post REALLY spoke to me especially your friends comment about not blocking your blessings and the simple truth that God knows what I need way before I even think to ask Him for it.
Anyway, thank you. I really need this today.
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Although I think it’s great that you’re going to pay for your daughter’s education, I thought I read before that you said she was going to have to pay for it herself with loans?
I didn’t say I was going to pay for it. I said I would think about it.
Based of my income and EFC, she may not qualify for federal loans. Other option is to get a parent plus or go private. Before *I* take on any debt, I’d rather pay out of pocket or attend a cheaper school. [-SM]
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God is a strong and visible force in my life. He’s been tapping me on the shoulder for YEARS…DECADES, and thankfully, I’ve recently begun to listen.
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I think you should let her go giving you CAN afford it. My mom couldn’t pay for it and because I was to stubborn to take out a bunch of loans I never finished. I would love to have had the experience as well.
On the flip side I wouldn’t let my child go to a 40K a year college to get a degree in “bs” It needs to stay all in perspective. the college experience is just that “an experience” and you can get that at any school imho.
$40K a year? That kid better be a genius heading to Harvard! LOL But I agree. My hard earning mula won’t pay for any BS. [-SM]
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You could also split the difference and she could take out loans for some of the difference. You’ve raised her to understand, right? She should be able to make a choice she has ownership in.
I paid for my loans, people do it all the time.
Just because you have more cash in your hands, doesn’t mean you should splash it around and steal this teaching moment from BG where you can really analyze whether things that cost more are really better.
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“I paid for my loans, people do it all the time”
they do but I can imagine this isn’t the lesson that needs to be taught. I definitely believe this is a moment that she can teach her about finance as well as “give” her a gift that is priceless and that is to graduate from college with no debt.
again thats just my opinion
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Wow! We’re in the same boat!
My son’s school of choice is 70K for his B.A. – I’m like whoa!
I am totally free of consumer debt, but I do have a mortgage and my own student loans to contend with–and I would like to go to grad school myself – my M.S. is only going to cost me less than $2K! So, when I hear that kind of money for education, I’m like whoa!
But, like they say, it costs to floss. When you think about it, the sooner you go to school, the sooner you SHOULD pay off your student loans and can work toward retirement and savings. And, by them earning a degree early in life, they will have greater earning power for a longer period of time and should – not always a true – experience less periods of unemployment. So, in the end, I think it’s worth it.
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Just wondering – you are such a good planner and on top of finances, why don’t you have a 529 for her? Or some other kind of college savings plan? Love the blog, the post, etc.
Thanks!
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It’s awesome that you are paying for her education. She is really blessed (and I hope she realizes it). My folks paid for both my BS and 1st MS, so I am eternally indebted to them.
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A great education can be had at SO many different schools of varying costs. Don’t be fooled into thinking her #1 choice is her best choice (though it certainly might be). I’m positive that because she’s your BG she’ll do fine wherever she goes.
My two cents on the matter: decide what you are willing to pay, then decide what you want BG’s part to be (for example, you pay tuition, she pays living expenses, or vice-versa). Then let her know the financials, that she has x-amount of money coming from you, and that she is responsible for the rest. In the end she will ultimately make the decision, but knowing exactly where you two stand will be key.
I worked, had scholarships, grants, loans, AND help from parents (depending on the year, my grades, etc). The only thing I wish I did differently was have a clear understanding of my financial relationship with my parents. They paid a lot in the beginning but it became less and less over the years, only increasing when I was having some random financial problem.
The key is openness, honesty, and good planning!
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Whatever you decide, I’m sure you’ll let God guide you to what is best for you and BG.
From the beginning, my parents sat me down and agreed to pay for the tuition through loans and from their pocket IF I maintained a B average and if I paid for books, fun, food, all the extraneous expenses by getting a job and/or scholarships.
My scholarships paid for my meal plan and housing, but I was on the hook for books and fun. My summer job paid for 80% of the books and fun; I got a very part time job with my adviser during the school year to gain experience in my field to cover the rest.
That experience really taught me a lot, even though it didn’t turn out quite the way they had planned (due to my dad’s illness, I ended up paying back all of the loans they’d taken out for my education, plus some). But then again, tuition + fees to my #1 ranked public school only cost about $5K a year when I attended!
I graduated with no credit card debt (just the loans that my parents couldn’t pay back).
This will also teach her what goes into looking for sweet deals, such as on textbooks…but i’m sure you’ve already primed her!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I like how your parents connected their financial support to your grades. It gives me a realistic view of how others have navigated this new (to me) phase of personal finance – college expenses. Thank you much. [-SM]
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I think it’s fantastic that you have the freedom to make that choice. Whatever you decide, I’m sure it will be the right one, after much consideration!
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I went to a state school, but it is an excellent state school. University of Washington itself, (and many of its programs) is consistently ranked as one of the top schools nationally and internationally. She could still get a great education, if not better, at a state school, depending on the area of study. Just my 2 cents, although I’m sure you’ve considered this.
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I’m curious if the increase in pay you told your friend about was pre or post tax? I’m also wondering if your daughter will be paying for part of this herself? Maybe you make a deal that you’ll pay for what a state school would cost and she coughs up the rest?
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This advice probably applies more to other readers (parents with juniors or younger in HS, or students, etc) than to you, since I know you and BG have done plenty of research already, but I think it’s valuable (and this comes from a slightly more California perspective, but still goes for a lot of states):
It may seem counter intuitive, but right now, with most states struggling due to lowered revenues and many state systems increasing tuition costs, private, seemingly expensive schools can be the best bet for middle and lower income families. Some schools seem like the have CRAZY high sticker prices – because they do – but they can end up costing many families less than a state school with a lower price tag would. This is because smaller, private schools still have more resources to throw at the kids they really want to attend.
So if your child wants a smaller college experience or some of the personal attention that can come from that environment (as opposed to larger state schools, starting at junior college, etc), it’s definitely worth spending some time researching smaller, private schools. Keep in mind, too, that these schools often highly value diversity (ethnic, socio-economic, and the often forgotten one can be the biggest: geographic) so look at schools in places different from the one in which you live that have different students from you. Never thought about going to school in Iowa or Nebraska? Maybe not, but they might have a stellar smaller college willing to throw money at you that you wouldn’t qualify for at a state school.
It can be really hard for upper-middle class families who fall in that awful in-between stage where the EFC (expected family contribution) makes it seem like footing $25k a year is no big deal (but c’mon, that’s a big deal for almost any family), so looking at lesser known schools can really pay off in what you don’t end up having to pay out.
(I work with high school kids in California from lower-income families who assume they could never even *think* about applying to anything besides a state school – which isn’t bad, we have good state schools here – but no one ever told them they can end up with a $45k/year education almost for free as well, where they’d take out loans for the “less expensive” state school.)
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Love this post..
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I hope that School #1 leads some financial aid resources your way, so that you can both utilize a bit of that additional income! It’s nice that you have the insurance of income recently added, as opposed to things having gone in the other direction. In this economy, that is a mighty blessing indeed! Good luck with getting everything situated…
Jerry
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I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Alena
http://grantsforeducation.info
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