Preparing for an Empty Nest
I’ve been dealing with a lot of random emotions lately. If you follow me on Twitter, you will know that I’ve been crying for absolutely no reason at all, indulging in retail therapy, and even cut my hair after a spare of the moment decision. Yesterday, my mom shed some light on what was causing my erratic behavior – difficulty accepting the fact that BabyGirl will be leaving the nest in less than a year. Hmm…imagine that.
Yea, I know. I thought I was excited, happy, couldn’t wait to kick her out, throw a freedom party, and all that jazz. But who am I kidding? I was lying to myself. I’ve been a mom for my entire adult life and I don’t know how to live with my only child gone. Her senior year of high school has only just begun and I’m going through the motions already. I don’t know how to deal with this on my own, so I finally decided to call my therapist for emergency medical intervention to help me through this transition.
Please forgive my absence.
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Since I’ve just recently sent my only child off to her first year of college, I can relate entirely to what you’re going through! It is an emotional roller coaster and for me as each senior year milestone passed it seemed easier. Summer was filled with getting things together for college and BOOM now she’s there. A good thing for us, which we knew going in was that if she met a bunch of people and was happy, we knew she’d be happy at school. So far so good!
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Aw, Single Ma. Very poignant post. That is one lucky girl!
Thanks for posting, though. I was afraid the new job had already killed you.
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I know, I know. I’ve been preparing since my kid started driving. For me, I poured all my energy into my kids and I was afraid that I would shrivel up and die if they weren’t there. I mean, who am I if I’m not their mother? For the past year I have been diligently working on who I am and who I want to be besides someone’s mama.
You’ll be fine, girl.
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I thought it was the job too, glad to know it isn’t.
From what I’ve gathered from another single mom I know, this is definitely normal. Especially since you and BG have such a great relationship. My friend’s daughter went to school in the same city but stayed on campus. She still had some emotional times with preparing for the empty nest.
But that didn’t last too long because she got married a year after her daughter moved out, LOL.
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Hi Single Ma,
I know what you feel. I am a single mom of three and my oldest, my daughter just left for college a few weeks ago.She is a freshman this semester. She is not the only child but she is the only girl and I have a great bond with her. It is challenging to let them grow and be independent but it is for the best- for you and for them. Her teen years have been a
challenge but I stuck with it and stood my ground- things are well now- though I thought was ready for her to leave the nest- it wasn’t as easy as I thought. Overall, the boys and I are adjusting well- I am focusing on me more and she is doing well where she is! Change is not easy but necessary- you’ll be just fine!
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I can’t imagine…I dont’ even want to. I guess I’ll try to provide a bright side – her going away will make the holidays that much more special when she returns. And, you’ll have a new place to visit. You gotta do those pop up college visits, lol.
You could also call her 50 times a day the way my mother still does me :)
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The wonderful thing about where you’re at is that you’re about to get into a whole new phase of knowing your daughter, and you’ll have lots of time ahead to spend getting to know each other as two adults, while you’re still young yourself. I”m sure it’s hard to give up having her around all the time, but I know you’ll enjoy lots of proud moments as she passes more of life’s milestones.
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I don’t have kids so I can’t say I can relate but I know my Mom was the same way when I left home for college. There were a lot of tears but she finally accepted it and was okay with it. Hang in there!!
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I concur with Madame X. This is a whole new opportunity for both of you. Change is hard, no doubt. I’m glad you will talk to someone about your feelings. Too many people don’t, much to their detriment.
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I cried a river 2 days before my oldest started middle school. My youngest is in her last year at our elementary school. I can’t even imagine college. And I agree with your commenters – you and BG have such a wonderful relationship. She is one lucky girl – and you are one great mom.
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Awww this is so sweet and sad at the same time! I think it’s a blessing to even be able to experience this type of love between a mother and a daughter!
Sincerely,
Go
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Hey Single Ma,
I’m not a parent, so I can’t say I know what you are going through. I have however, been the child going away to college. All I know is i never appreciated my mother so much – we were already very close but the college years saw us grow a lot closer.
I sought her opinion not just because she was there and she was mommy, but I realised by being out on my own, what a wonderful resource she was. I know the first year was hard on her (though she tried to act like she was tough and stuff lol) but I know she is happy I gained that perspective.
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You are very brave and wise to seek out someone to talk to.
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Like a few commenters above, I can’t say I can relate, but my mother has been an empty-nester for just over 10 years now. She is still having a tough time with having no kids living at home. I’m the youngest so she still feels a ‘pull’ to want to control/protect/teach me how to live my life. I just wait patiently for the day that she accepts her life situation. I hope you can go through your situation smoothly and that it doesn’t take you 10 years to adapt. :)
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My prayers go out to you Single Ma! You are a very strong woman and you will definately get through this with God’s strength and mercy. Bless you and baby girl. Keep praying.
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Just take care of yourself so you can be the best Single Ma for Baby Girl, even when she becomes College Girl!
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I’m going through the same thing. I had my son very young and it’s always been me and him. Now, I don’t no what to do with all this extra time. While I am enjoying finally being able to sit down and read a book and, basically, have a life, I’m not sure what the future hold for me–without my baby boy:-)
Thanks for the post. It’s great to know that I’m not alone.
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Single Ma –
Uggggh, when are you coming back!? Your blog is my favorite! I love to hear about your experiences and your outlook on life. Come back…pleeease!
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yeah where u at girl ? u ok?
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