Father’s Day Weekend Without a Father
My BabyGirl…
I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to call her that. She’s officially a high school senior, and in one more year, she’ll be legally classified as an adult. *sigh*
Aside from the occasional slip of the tongue that often results in her mouth making contact with the back of my hand, I kinda enjoy this phase of her life. She’s growing into her own, becoming very independent, testing the waters, making a few mistakes, and mommy has been right there, by her side, every step of the way.
This past weekend, we had her 17th birthday party at the pool. I hired a lifeguard, we had an iPod playlist, a spread of food (sandwiches, wings, chips/dip, sliced fruit/veggies), cupcakes, juice, and plenty of bottled water.
It was her first co-ed party. Of the 20 kids invited, 15 returned the RSVP and 14 showed up – 9 girls and 5 boys. My mom and 4 of my friends were there too. With 15 teenagers and their raging hormones, I needed backup supervision! I think Mr. EC took his job too seriously. At one point, BabyGirl asked me to send him home. She said every time a boy came over to talk to her, he’d find a reason to join their conversation. LOL! I asked him to chill out (a little) and he said “no problem, I’ll just activate my supersonic ears.” *smh* Aside from him acting like a Secret Agent assigned to Special Project BabyGirl, the kids had a great time.
After the pool party, we had an after party A.K.A. a spa themed slumber party with 3 of her closest girlfriends. I made spa bags for all the girls that included a manicure set, toe separators, glitter polish, flavored lip gloss, sleep masks, and an assortment of bath & body products. One of my girlfriends helped them do facials, which were followed by 1,000 calorie ice cream sundaes. I also heard they had a ‘Stanky Leg’ and ‘Simon Says’ dance contest, and the only person in the room over the of age 18 claimed victory. LOL! I have no idea what time my girlfriend left because I was out for the count by 11pm. The next morning, everyone said they had so much fun and I missed the best part of the night. Oh well, I guess you can call me a party pooper.
On Saturday, BabyGirl continued the festivities with a graduation party hosted by one of her school associates. My mom chauffeured, BG partied, and then they both shopped – while I slept. Still can’t believe I missed a shopping trip…just goes to show how tired I was. My bones are old and I can’t drop like it’s hot the way I used to. Whenever I try, it takes my body an entire day to recover. I know I should just quit, but I’m convinced that ‘30 is the new 20′ – almost.
Anyhoo…
BabyGirl had a busy celebration weekend, and if she plays her cards right, her future will be much of the same and full of exciting opportunities. Today, she’s going away for a 2 week summer program at a University. We’re loading up the car for a 3 hour road trip so she can add to her repertoire of life experiences and happy memories. When she returns, she’ll join the ranks of the gainfully employed and complete a paid summer internship in my office for 6 weeks.
I consider that a jam packed summer, but she called it “down time.” She said when cheerleading camp and marching band begin in August, SAT prep/test come around again in the fall, and college application due dates creep up this winter, she might feel “old and tired” like me.
*side eye*
See, that was one of those occasions when her mouth would have accidentally made contact with the back of my hand, but I let it slide – only because I was distracted by a wave of emotion. At that very moment, I noticed my BabyGirl young adult is a go getter – a little mini me.
Then I smiled and thought…
She’s growing up, just beginning her journey.
I’m getting older, almost at the peak of my journey.
She has so much to learn. I have so much to teach.
Whatever path she takes or however she chooses to get there, I will continue to be right there, by her side, every step of the way. It’s a shame her father is missing out on all of this. But alas, another year has gone by without him. *shrug*
First thing this morning, she climbed into my bed and gave me a big bear hug and a kiss. She thanked me for being her mom and rambled about her weekend shenanigans. I was half listening and half asleep until I heard her whisper…
Happy Father’s Day, Mom.
And that’s when I realized, no matter how old she gets, she will always be my BabyGirl.
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Awwwweee. You should have invited me to the party. I would have won the back that azz up contest! LOL
It sounds as though Baby Girl has a full life. Honestly, I used to be upset all the time when Tyler was a toddler at all the stuff his dad missed out on. Then I found out he read my blog. Sometimes when I have bad days I really want to write a blog dedicated just to him. How in the hell does a man read a blog to see photos of his child and to see how his child is growing and learning about life? I pray that Tyler doesn’t turn 17 and still no involvement from his father, but if he does he will still be a successful little man. Happy Father’s Day! And you could send me a spa kit?!
Loved this post. I too was touched this morning by my sweet only child acknowledging my double duty.
Year after year my daughter has comes home from school, third week of June, and proudly presented me with that year’s Father’s Day craft because I am “both mommy and daddy to [her]. Words can not describe the jumbled surge of emotions that so quickly rise to the surface in that moment when she proudly declares “Happy Father’s Day”. And all I can manage to squeak out beyond my supressed tears, glowing smile, and overwhelmed heart is a whisper of “Thank you, Baby”. My little 10 year old person; so wise, aware, accepting, and loving.
AWwwwwwwww. That is a Hallmark moment
lovely post. I’m glad Baby Girl had a great weekend. You know this made me cry…
I cried too. And she will ALWAYS be your BabyGirl.
Your daughter sounds both lucky and wonderful.
Three of my five adult daughters called to wish me “Happy Father’s Day.” I adopted them as a single parent so there never was a father to be there for them.
Sounds like your daughter’s father is missing out, big time. But you’re doing a good job doing both jobs.
You’re doing a wonderful job with your daughter and she is one lucky lady to have you as a mom (and dad)! Love to read your blog!
Great post! Sweet ending!
That’s pretty sweet. I used to wish my Mom a Happy Father’s Day too. She certainly played both the role of mother and father and she played it well.
Happy Father’s Day Single Ma!
I love this post …. It was EXACTLY the same way I treated Fathers Day for a long time …. My father never *bothered* with my sister or I as we grew up, he always treated us like the boys he never had. So years later when our parents did get divorced we never bothered with him on Father’s Day either. He just left and never looked back. I would ALWAYS make a point of wishing my mom Happy Fathers Day to her, or better yet to send her a card on that day!! Because for years she had to fill both roles in our house. Be the breadwinner and do all those mommy things too…. Later when my mom remarried, we got the father we always wished we could have had growing up. Our stepfather, Henry, became my true dad. He loved my mother unconditionally and treated her good. He loved us like his own daughters and became the best grandpa you could imagine, even though he had 4 children and several grandchildren from his first marriage. We were welcomed into his home and treated so special. We had so many good times with him. He was never my *step*dad, he became my Dad. He passed away 8 years ago and I still miss him every day. Hopefully someday BabyGirl will be lucky to have a father figure to step up and give her the things and memories that she has missed out on. Once again nice post! And Happy Father’s Day to all those remarkable single moms out there!
She will ALWAYS be your Baby Girl. I have a 15 1/2 y/o and a 1 y/o. And although i truly have a baby the older one will still always be my baby….just can’t call him or remind of that around friends.
I wasn’t told Happy Father’s Day but I can tell you i was secretly happy when he didn’t call his dad to tell him today….he never calls our son. I feel bad for my son but glad he isn’t thinking his dad will change anytime soon.
Your daughter is so lucky to have you…wish I had a role model like you growing up. I know it is never to late but life might have been easier by now.
I’m a bag of emotion, so this made me cry. I can feel the pride and happiness that your baby girl brings you..that’s a beautiful thing. Happy Father’s Day!
Awwww this post is soo sweet. I loved that she wished you a happy father’s day. At least she sees and appreciates the sacrifices you are making for her.
LOL @ Mr. EC joining the conversation, that is just classic.
How sweet!! You are one blessed momma!!
Great post! Giving her opportunities, letting her grow up…you are doing everything right!
Now, did you say Mr. E.C.?
Singlema, I love ALL of your posts, but this one is by far one of my best post ever, I’m so happy for Baby Girl and you also, you are doing such a wonderful job with her, you are a great mom.
Peace & Blessings!
You had me getting teary eyed while reading this post at my job. Luckily it’s the end of the day and most of the folks have left the office. Glad to hear BG had a fabulous birthday.
Awww… what a great post, what a great kid and what a great mom!
I echo the sentiments of all the commenters…Baby Girl is truly lucky to have a very good role model to look up to, instead of hoochie mamas and idiotic video vixens on the tube. You’re not perfect by any means (none of us are), but you strive to set a good example, and she is really becoming your mini-me. The question is…is the world really ready???? Smile.
Awww…thank was so sweet of Baby Girl. I have tears in my eyes. You are a GREAT mother!
What a touching story!
We too gave mom recognition on Fathers day and eventually created a website that sells these items