I’m Not a Sucker, I Blame Inflation
So I went grocery shopping today, right. I’m in, out, 40 minutes tops. Spent $103 on one week’s worth of groceries. Da hell? Yea, I thought the same thing. But this post isn’t about how much I spent on groceries. I need to tell y’all what happened as I was leaving the grocery store.
So there I am, minding my own business. Doody doo…people watching, checking out my surroundings, and looking for my car. Then, as soon as I was about to push my cart down that little ramp thingy, here comes FOUR little pip squeaks in uniform.
“Hello ma’am, would you like to buy some popcorn!?!” they all asked in unison.
First of all, I hate it when little people call me “ma’am” cuz, you know, I’m not that old. But I guess they don’t recognize FABULOUS when they see it. LOL So I responded, “What kind? Do you have kettle corn?”
“We sure do!” the biggest one yelled – and a little too loud for my preference. The other three scurried off to grab me a box of kettle corn. When they returned, the big one started stuffing the box into the cart with the rest of my groceries. I’m thinking, “look at this lil mofo…”
“Hold on there for a minute. May I see the box please?” I asked and laughed at his forcefulness.
He looked at me like “what for” and I gave him the “don’t fugg with me” eye, so he handed me the box and I inspected the package. You know, can never be too sure. Kids these days are hustlers. So of course, my next question was “how much is it?”
You would think I asked them who was going to be the next president of the United States. They all looked at each other like “how the hell am I supposed to know.”
So I looked around to see if I could find the adults responsible for this hustle. And guess where they were? Posted up on bar stools behind a table! Damn shame, they got their kids out here pimping and pushing drug popcorn deals while they’re chilling on the sidelines. So I walked over and politely asked, “ma’am (ok sue me, she was kinda old), I’d love to support your children but I’d like to know the prices.”
Ms. Thing stood up to get a better look at what I was holding in my hand and said, “ooooh, you like the kettle corn, huh? That’s a GREAT choice. The price for kettle corn is…she paused to look over her little signs…$18.”
[and the music stops]
I’m thinking, “did this heffa just say $18 for a box of popcorn?” So I held up the box to see if it was anything special. *looking at it extra close*
Thinking, “nope, looks like the same Orville Redenbacher on aisle 9.”
Let me summarize for you: one box, 15 individual packs, $18.
So I said to her, half joking, half serious, “wow, the price of popcorn sure has gone up lately!”
She gave me an apologetic look, but didn’t say anything. I guess that was the boys’ cue.
The smallest one stepped up to me and he said, “but ma’am (their mamas should really teach them better lol), it’s for our cub scouts. If we raise $xx, we’ll get to go to xxx. And did you know your donation is tax deductible?” with a big ass cheesy grin.
Impressed by his little sales pitch, but not impressed enough to fork over $18 for a box of kettle corn. Hmph! As I was parting my lips to say “no thanks,” the biggest one stepped up to me – again. I don’t know if he was giving me a sad face or a mean mugg, but his cheeks were so fat, I couldn’t tell. So I laughed at him…then walked away and headed towards my car.
But not until I gave them my $18.
What? It was four of them and one of me! LOL!
Besides, Single Ma loves the kids! LOL!
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Oh no!… SingleMa… you got hustled by a pack of cub scouts!
I should be ashamed. LOL [-SM]
Tyler is also selling this for cubscouts and his MOM, read ME had to stand in front of the damn Sams with him.. I was not a happy camper. But even though he is 6, he knew the prices. AND that little group got over on you b/c OUR popcorn that is microwaveable and is 15 packs is $15…. maybe they were getting a tip! LOL!
See, I knew I was getting hustled! The regular popcorn was $15, kettle corn was $18, and I think the popcorn tins (already popped) was $20. Aint that about a &*%^! LOL [-SM]
Are you sure that was for cub scouts, and not the hood scouts? With the economy today, the hustlers have to be stepping up their game…lol
I’m positive it was the cub scouts. Single Ma doesn’t live in the hood. LOL [-SM]
When I used to take the train (guess why I am not taking it any more), I would get hustled by kids selling candy and stuff. I never buy the candy, however I tell them I will make a donation of a few $ and they can keep their candy, I am diabetic :-) (not)
Same goes for peanuts (I am allergic) (yes) and the other stuff
They are happy with two-three dollars and for the price of one cup of latte, I do not feel bad that I did not buy and help their school, their club, etc.
Finally, a story where I don’t wish to be you. J/K … sorta (broke college student here so forgive me)
Those scouts knew the price, they just made you come a little closer to their territory where the sales pitch/mean mugg would be the strongest. LOL
Enjoy your kettle corn.
Hey, Game reconizes Game. I’m not mad at the hustle. It reminded me of my own little hustler. Thanks for the laugh!
see i can pass up the popcorn but those damn girl scout cookies get me EVERY time! they pretty much sell themselves!
LOL @ Tyrika’s comment – Hood Scouts! LOL….
Nah, I know you don’t live in the hood. But damn those scouts get me EVERYTIME…except when I want them…like the girl scout cookies. Can never find em when I want em!
Geez, that’s some expensive popcorn! I think the girl scouts have a better product for less:)
I am dieing with laughter! That is so sweet of you Single Ma. They always get me too, but I always know I’m about to get got because I too love kids.
As the aunt of a Tx hustler, I thank you single Ma. Those cuties know how to work it!! And I can tell you this, they are not even taught this in their Tiger Cub meetings, natural salesmen they are! ;o)
Thank you to all who support the BSA!!! (Whether buying the costly popcorn or making a doantion!!!) Grrr (Tiger cubs growl)
You let some little Rug Rags “Punk” you girl, Oh, What you scared?
LMAO, Good deed girl and don’t forget it’s tax deductible:-)
$18.00 Bucks, I’m still tripping on that.
Peace & Blessings
Hey Baby Girl, How’s the job?
Mm mmm mmmmm *smh*
Suckered by some chubby cheeks and his minions.
$18 for some pop corn?! Each bag better have the ability to walk itself to the microwave.
Thanks for a good laugh. The girl scouts hustle me every year.