There’s No Place Like Home, Unless You’re in Hawaii
Aloha Cousins!
We’re back (unfortunately), tired (when do people ‘relax’ on vacation?), jet lag (my body finally adjusted to the 6 hr time difference, now I have to start over - it’s 3am or is that really 9pm), and I’m taking one more day off work (need to get my mind and body in gear).
Prior to my departure, I asked the question: “If you were in a relationship that wasn’t defined and decided to go on vacation together - how often would YOU offer to share the expenses, if at all?” There were a variety of responses and one in particular was VERY interesting.
Bump that, being the sister that I am- I would have to ask him to define the relationship.
I would explain to him that I don’t do this with male friends, I came here because you invited me, however, now that I’m here, I feel a little uncomfortable.
In the meantime, have fun as if he was your girlfriend, It seem that he already paid for the big stuff. So you can chip in a little.
I would have to press for an answer, on the last day of the vacation. Until then, have fun.
I have several concerns with that response:
1. “I would have to ask him to define the relationship.”
Since when does one person “define” a relationship that takes two? - SM
2. “I would explain to him that I don’t do this with male friends, I came here because you invited me, however, now that I’m here, I feel a little uncomfortable.”
Uncomfortable? That sounds manipulative. If I thought I’d feel uncomfortable, I’d stay home. - SM
3. “I would have to press for an answer, on the last day of the vacation.”
Press to say what? And why the last day? More manipulation? After spending a week on a Hawaiian island, action speaks louder than any words. -SM
Sistergurl, you and I think very differently. I didn’t ask him to define the relationship, I didn’t press for an answer, nor was I uncomfortable. Instead, I had a fabulous time with the most generous person I’ve ever met and the entire experience was one of the best vacations I’ve ever taken.
Re: relationship status. Until I become a “Mrs” or at least have a ring on my left ring finger, from my POV, the relationship isn’t defined. I’m 30+ and too old to play house, so anyone I’m “dating” will always be referred to as a “friend.” Any other reference is meaningless.
Re: my financial contribution. I wasn’t allowed to pay for N-E-thing, except for my own shopping excursions of course. And yes I am Miss Independent, but I have no problem keeping my credit card tucked away if you insist. LOL! However, as the financially savvy woman that I am, I took the liberty of planning our itinerary (hush nofearingthemoney! LOL) and made sure all activities were fun, reasonably priced, and the best value. You know I had to get my hustle on! LOL!
We had a fabulous time and returned with over 300 pictures and many memories. I don’t usually discuss the details of my vacation(s) on the blog because I cherish them as private moments, but I will share a few pics if I can tailor them around financial tidbits.
Until then…
Per the request of cheLLe and Sistah Ant, I took this pic as souvenir gift just for YOU. 
[the Hawaiian skyline aboard the Ali'i Kai sunset dinner cruise]
Aloooooooooooooha!
~*~*~*~*~*~Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And always, BE FABULOUS!
This blog is the story of my financial life as a single mom. Subscribe via (feed reader) or (email) to follow the rest of my fabulous journey.
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Fabulous Financials » The Financial Trail of My Hawaiian Vacation (Pingback), 26 August 2008, 6:30
[...] previously mentioned, I took the liberty of planning our itinerary and made sure all activities were fun, reasonably [...]
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Glad you had a fabulous time! I agree with you…after 30 the only description that matters requires a ring
Im glad you had a great time! Sounds like Mr Eye Candy is a keeper!
Me thinks so too. Primarily because we’re so much alike, yet he forces me to do thing I’m not used to doing and let go of things I’m used to doing myself. Our friendship is a true test of my ability to take the passenger seat, although I’m used to driving.
By the way, I told him that I refer to him as Mr. Eye Candy when I’m talking about him to others, but he doesn’t like his name. He said it sounds like a stripper and I need to come up with something else. LOL [-SM]
Glad you had a great time! I think perspectives on relationships change as you get older…
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe I’m getting old ’cause I cringe when I hear a grown woman say “my BOYfriend…” That sounds so elementary. Until he becomes a fiance or husband, he’s a FRIEND. Period.
By the way, we saw Roy’s restaurant. I think it was on the corner of Lewer’s St and Beach Walk. We wanted to dine there, but ran out of time. Thanks for the recommendation though. [-SM]
glad you had a wonderful time!!
*blinking*
Now what would I have to say? I RESPECT the itinerary.lol
I wish I could give ya hubby a high five right now. LOL [-SM]
I am glad you had a good time!
PS Shopping excursions…inquiring minds.
Oh, nothing much. I just picked up a handmade hawaiian purse, a coral ring, a couple of sun dresses, some T-shirts, souvenirs, had a few pineapples shipped to my house, etc. Ya know, regla stuff. [-SM]
I think you did the classy thing. Glad to hear it went well!
SingleMa, it sounds like you had a wonderful time! I missed your posts but I am glad you were able to get away to a beautiful island with Mr. Eye Candy.
I agree with you on anyone that one is dating should be referred to as a “friend” AND that it takes two to define a relationship.
By the way, I now have enough frequent flyer points to fly free to Hawaii (needed 70K) - can you share your itinerary and/or give any must see/do recommendations?
Wow, good for you! I think the flight was the MOST expensive part of the trip. Somewhere around $7-800.
When photobucket decides to cooperate, my next post will highlight some of my favorite activities. [-SM]
Enjoy your day!
I’m glad you had an awesome time and Mr. EC treated you like the queen you are. I can’t wait to see more pics.
Re: relationship status. Until I become a “Mrs” or at least have a ring on my left ring finger, from my POV, the relationship isn’t defined. I’m 30+ and too old to play house, so anyone I’m “dating” will always be referred to as a “friend.” Any other reference is meaningless.
I heard that! Thats grown folk talk! I think too many of us sisters (me included) give a man the benefits of having a wife without the commitment! If more of us thought like this singlema, maybe we would all be getting all expense paid vacations to exotic islands..
One can dream..lol happy you had fun sis!
Just curious–does Mr. EC know about your blog? Glad you had a great trip!
He knows I blog, he’s heard me mention the name, but I don’t think he’s ever read it. I doubt if he’s even interested. [-SM]
Referring to anyone I’m dating as a friend? Seems baffling to me, but maybe I”ll understand when I grow up.
What would YOU call them? [-SM]
Glad you had a great time.
“Glad you had a fabulous time! I agree with you…after 30 the only description that matters requires a ring” Couldn’t agree more! So glad you had a good time SM! I am still jealous! lol
ALOHA Single Ma! Thanks for the picture - what a beautiful thing to see this Friday morning. I’m glad you had a good time - a sunset cruise sounds WONderful!
Glad you liked the picture. [-SM]
Oops I meant Monday morning. Guess you can tell where my mind is, LOL!
HA HA your brain is still on the weekend. I understand because mine is still in Hawaii. [-SM]
I’m glad you had a wonderful time! I look forward to getting back to the islands myself really soon…with my sweetie too of course.
oh noooooooo, You put me on blast. LOL
Well I still would have to ask for an answer. Not being aggressive, just on the last day– Yeah boo, you know I’m feeling you and you feeling me so I would like for us a be a couple–You have to say it a smooth voice, LOL
Anyway I glad you had fun. I still would have had to ask him!
Yes ma’am, had to put you on blast because your response shocked me. I was not expecting that from you. But then again, I said to myself, she’s married and I’m not so what do I know. [-SM]
glad to see you had a wonderful time! and thanks for the pic…i miss seeing the ocean lol.
I love the view of the ocean. Glad you liked the pic. [-SM]
REGARDING: Until I become a “Mrs” or at least have a ring on my left ring finger, from my POV, the relationship isn’t defined. I’m 30+ and too old to play house, so anyone I’m “dating” will always be referred to as a “friend.” Any other reference is meaningless.”
What kind of nonsensical statement is that?
Hmph.. did you bring back some cookies & shyt?
*waving*
I got yo MF cookies, now go sit yo short azz down somewhere!
For real though, I’ve got some Kona coffee shortbread cookies dipped in white chocolate from the Honolulu Cookie Company. Delish! I might share ‘one’ with you if you ackk right. [-SM]
A Hawai’i vacation sounds nice about now… I’m glad you had a great time with a generous friend on a beautiful island. And I’m jealous.
Keeping up with Single Ma is the new Keeping up with the Joneses.
HA HA just like the Jones’, trying to keep up with me will get ya in trouble. LOL! [-SM]
It works great to say that everyone’s a “friend” until there is a ring . . . so long as you’re comfortable with it. I’ve gone through various stages in my life where such things would be acceptable or unacceptable to me depending on the man and the situation.
Though in 90% of cases, for me, the “friend” designation with nothing more known is okay up until the point the dude feels the need to spend time with other “friends” because we’re just “friends.” For dinners out, dancing, shows, most everything EXCEPT overnight travel, multiple friends don’t seem like a big deal to me. But if you want to vacation with me, it better be just me and you’d better not be headed to Fiji next week with another friend. I wouldn’t be headed anywhere with another friend either.
Until there’s a defined commitment, I’m free game. But hey, do whatever works for YOU. [-SM]
I’m so with you on using “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” sounding young. My SO (even that is odd) and I have lived together for several years so it sounds ridiculous. Since we moved to Canada everyone seems to refer to him as my “partner” in conversation- I guess it makes sense on some level but I can’t help but feel like I should be riding round in a cop car with him.
Your last sentence made me laugh. LOL [-SM]
Welcome back SingleMa! I hope you had a great time!
I call them boyfriends! Maybe that would sound silly after 30… So they could, potentially, leap from friend to fiance without a stop in between (if that is where it was heading?)
or at least have a ring on my left ring finger, from my POV
POV= Power of Veto…oooppps wait watching to much Big Brother cuz I didn’t get to go to Hawaii let alone any where but work this week.
Anyway glad you are back safely and had fun.
Taking time to define a relationship sounds about as much fun as filing paperwork.
Traveling and spending time with someone great sounds much better!
you can call him Mr.Goodbar
Welcome back Single Ma…looks like you had a blast that is great.
Tell Mr. Eye Candy we like the name Mr. Eye Candy, so Mr. Eye Candy he is.
Were you able to see the North Shore or Pearl Harbour? Well either way I hope you had a great time
Wish I could give some insight on the relationship stuff, but unfortunately I have never been good with grey, and if a relationship is not on it is off, and if it is off I am (was) gone.
Pretty nutty but that’s me.
I agree that Oahu is not what you envision as an island paradise soo much. Nest trip visit Kauai (they film movies like Jurassic Park there) or the Big Island, which are much less populated…
Glad you had a great time. Hmm..30+ and friends. All the liberalism. I think most of our friends are in their 30s now and single, and refer to people as “bf/gf” still. Some have lived together almost 15 years!