Promises, Rewards, and Working Relationships
This past weekend, I logged in to my computer and saw TWO “we received your deposit” emails from USAA. Hmm…
I have these little alerts set up to warn me of certain things - all deposits, withdrawals over $100, credit card charges over $1,000, payment due, payment posted, etc. One email said they received a deposit from xxx in the amount of x.xk. My employer depositing my salary. Expected, timely, and nothing unusual there. The second email said they received a deposit from xxx in the amount of x.xk. Hmm…this one was unusual because: 1) I wasn’t expecting this deposit, 2) the depositor was my PREVIOUS employer, and 3) The amount was a nice surprise.
Let me provide some back history for my new readers…
Back my in March, I worked for a different employer and we had our end of year performance evaluations. As usual, when exceeding expectations, the reward is a very nice financial incentive to keep up the good work. Problem is, I’d already found a new job, submitted my resignation, and informed my supervisor of my last day. Although the announcement was a surprise to some, I was told by my boss’ boss that the organization valued my contributions so I would be rewarded whether I decided to stay or not. He said he had to pull a few strings and mentioned some budget constraints, timing, blah, blah, blah, but he’d take care of me because I had already earned it.
Cool.
Approximately four weeks later, I was saying goodbye. Although the bonus was promised, I wasn’t holding my breath just in case they reneged. If I didn’t get the money, no problem - fair game because I was no longer employed by them. However, it was widely acknowledged that I’d worked the black off my azz for an entire year.
I gave them a lot in 12 months. For example: many 12+ hour days, sometimes 7 days/week courtesy of the BB, stretching myself to accomplish things I’d never done before, improved processes and communications that had been broken for YEARS, closed several deals that many thought were impossible given the constraints, often putting work life before home life, and the largest sacrifice - quality time with my child.
They also gave me a lot in 12 months. For example: a promotion, a relocation/sign on bonus, new confidence, an opportunity to manage responsibilities that exceeded my experience level, introduction into the 6 figure club, several financial incentives/rewards, a huge office, many challenges that forced me to improve my weaknesses, contacts to help advance my career, leadership training, and most importantly - I met Mr. Eye Candy.
Unless you know me personally, the following info is new for my regular readers as well. I wasn’t sure if/when I would share this on the blog - if ever - but it’s behind me now, so here goes…
Unfortunately, all things were NOT peaches and cream in CandyLand. My boss, at the time, who will forever be referred to as the “Boss Lady from Hell” (BLFH), broke the camel’s back when she commenced her 1,234,567th emotional rampage. All other times, I usually took one for the team, but this one faithful day was the last straw.
While working on a major project, we were both pretty stressed by the political pressure and looming deadlines. To make things easier for both of us her, she was trying to convince me to do something that was borderline unethical and I flat out refused. Nope, un un! After spending several minutes trying to make a brick wall move, she said to me…
“SINGLE MA, YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!!”
*pause for effect*
Hmm…
Did you hear that pin drop?
I’m sure you all can imagine the look on my face and the words that were having a wrestling match on the tip of my tongue.
Thank gawd I pride myself on being a professional, so I had to restrain the ghetto alter ego that I keep hidden while at work. Hmph! I may earn 6 figures, wear suits 5 days a week, and speak the King’s English, but don’t let the smooth taste fool ya. The kid is from Brick City, and for a minute, I had a “gimme some Vaseline for my face” flashback. I wanted to choke that biatch!
Shortly thereafter, I quit.
I gave a 30+ day notice and tied up loose ends, had one on one sessions with my entire staff, provided career advice to those I took a personal interest, presented a training session to the entire division on an area that needed the most improvement, considered and declined several counter offers, secured all (important) bridges, established a mentor/protege relationship with my boss’ boss’ boss (yes, 2 levels ABOVE the BLFH), and remained dedicated to my given responsibilities until after 5pm on my very last day.
Now THAT’S how you tell a BLFH to kiss yo’ natural black azz…with class! LOL!
Here we are three months later, and true to their word, they gave me what I was promised. I haven’t received anything in the mail (yet), so I don’t know the exact amount of the entire bonus, but the direct deposit (after taxes/deductions) was over $3,000. If I were still employed by them, I’m sure I would have received 2-3x that amount.
To acknowledge receipt and thank them for recognizing my efforts long after my departure, I sent both of the bosses (1 and 2 levels above the BLFH) an email . Within 30 minutes, they both responded:
1 level above BLFH:
Single Ma: I’m glad to hear you received your well-earned performance award. We truly appreciate the great things you did for us during your tenure at xx. I thought of you last weekend when I attended the xxx [a formal event related to the challenging project I completed -SM]. Wish you could have been there.
As you know, things change quickly here at xx, so keep an eye out for future opportunities [the last time we spoke, we discussed a possible return if there was a promotion opportunity -SM]. We’re always looking for talented, hard-working xxx professionals…and you certainly fit that description.
Wising you the best in your new position.
[Siggy: Asst HBIC]
2 levels above BLFH (and one of my mentors):
Good morning Single Ma,
I am very glad to see that this time we actually managed to get the bonus money that you truly deserve without issue [a previous bonus took over 2 months to receive AFTER it was authorized and released -SM]. We really appreciate the tremendous work you did while you were here. The fact that you are no longer working at xx, while a huge loss, does not diminish your contributions or our appreciation.I am still hopeful that we will work together again some time in the future and appreciate you staying in touch. I know I mentioned this previously, but if there is ever anything I can do to help you, please do not hesitate to call or send an email.
Thank you again for everything you accomplished.
[Siggy: Real HBIC]
As you can probably imagine, with this type of recognition and support, making the final decision to leave was a very difficult one. However, they (upper management) are far removed from the daily drama. What I had to endure for 9 out of 12 months can best be described as pure BULL SHIT (not shyt, but S-H-I-T). It was horrible, so I had to make a tough decision and do what was best for ME - despite the money and career advancement because all money aint good money.
It was an unfortunate experience that I will never forget, but I stayed committed to my responsibilities, gained respect from my colleagues and upper management, earned fair compensation for my contributions, and now - rewards for the inconvenience.
~*~*~*~*~*~Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And always, BE FABULOUS!
This blog is the story of my life...a single mom who worked her way from nothing to financial freedom. Subscribe here and follow the rest of my journey.
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Single Ma,
You are a true inspiration! I cannot believe all the bullS%%T you had to endure at your previous job. Im a single ma too trying to climb that corporate ladder and let me just tell you it is not easy. Is there any advice that you can give a 27 college educated single ma, trying to rise to the top through all the BS? Also how did you deal with spending time away from your child? I have a 18 month year old, so just curious as to what you did.
Thanks,
Ms.G
Is there any advice that you can give a 27 college educated single ma, trying to rise to the top through all the BS?
First of all, separate your “responsibility” as a single mom from your work life. You are an educated WOMAN trying to advance her career. Being a single mom is a personal responsibility, not a liability or limitation. IMO, that mindset is debilitating because it prevents you from accomplishing goals.
Second, learn to play the political game. Far too many people want to earn more money and excel in their careers, but they think they are above, too good, or don’t have time for the most important thing in any organizational culture - politics. Some people call it brown nosing, I call it networking.
Last, work smart and ignore the naysayers. Focus on what you want, not what people say you can have. Rules are made to be broken.
Also how did you deal with spending time away from your child?
I’m not sure if I understand this question. If you can’t stand being away from your child, then you should be a stay at home mom. By choosing to work and have a thriving career, it doesn’t make me any less of a mom. I’d go nuts being with her 24/7, so it was an easy decision for me.
If you really meant to ask, how did I deal with my work/home life being out of balance. Prior to my previous employer, I’d never experienced it before. Although that job required long hours, I had ground rules and limitations. The BB was with me 24/7, but I never missed a game, never missed a band performance, and always had a family Sunday dinner. Thankfully, my career didn’t take off and demand much beyond 40 hrs/wk until my daughter was in high school. By then, it was easier to make the sacrifice, but it was still a huge sacrifice. I don’t think I could have done it if she was a baby.
[-SM]
Professionalism always prevails. I’m curious if BLFH said what she said to you behind closed doors or in front of an audience?
It was behind closed doors (figuratively), but several people heard it in passing. Many said, on that day, they knew I was going to leave. [-SM]
Whoa…I am truly speechless… BLFH must not know about you!
In all seriousness, for her to ask you in the first place to do something remotely unethical and for her to snap off at you for refusing to do the dirty deed, that is so unprofessional! I think you handled the situation well considering the Brick City gurl could have busted out right then and there!
Question…were the Real HBIC and the Asst HBIC aware of BLFH’s impromptu comment? And did they take appropriate action against her? Because I would consider it something along the lines of harrassment…
Not until my exit interview when I told the asst HBIC. The real HBIC knows now, I’m sure, but she never heard it directly from me. I tried to deal with it on our level as long as possible, but when they asked why I was leaving, I had to provide the details/facts that led to my decision.
Re: appropriate action. No idea. I just left and never inquired. [-SM]
Again you are my shero because you have shown me so much on an upper mgmt level although we are in different fields, and I’m not there “yet” I learn a lot from you and your experiences especially the way you handle your staff..
You can take the girl out the ghetto, but you can’t…well you know the rest. LOL It’s been 3 months and the thought of it still pisses me off. Makes me wanna choke her azz TODAY. I can’t wait to be at a point when I can laugh about it.
I’m glad you can learn from what I exhibit on the outside because you know I’m having a war of wills on the inside. LOL [-SM]
Hard work and professionalism are always rewarded. I am a big believer in what goes around, comes around and you have proven that again with outlining your career/pf experiences. I am a regular reader of your blog and you serve as a good example of what women (not just African American women) should be striving for. Keep it up!
Well, thank you. I try to remain neutral and provide useful information for all people (men and women). But you know what? Most of my readers don’t realize I’m African American until I make a specific reference to it. Especially when I’m pissed! LOL [-SM]
Great way to handle a tough situation. I’m guessing BLFH is still there b/c they’re having a hard enough time making up for losing your productivity - sad. This explains why BLFH was all shook when you decided to leave and why she was worried about what you had to say to the higher-ups. *smh*
I wish I had the time or desire to write about all the crap I had to endure. This was just the final straw for me. There is much more. And yes, she was crapping bricks, but she’s still there. [-SM]
BLFH must have made for an interesting exit interview. Clearly, you found the safe path through that minefield, but it can’t have been easy.
I can’t believe your former employer paid you a bonus! That would be unheard of at my company, and I’m sure it’s rare at yours as well. It’s a testament to your professionalism and hard work - and you can take comfort in the fact that even if BLFH had questionable ethics, there are at least two levels of bosses above her who know how to do the right thing.
I couldn’t believe it either! Those two are the best. I’d work for them again anywhere. [-SM]
Professionalism always wins time and time again. I’ve been reading your blog for over two years now and I have seen your growth. You truly are an inspiration
You’ve watched me grow up. Aww, thanks! [-SM]
Single Ma,
It’s quite obivious that BLFH lost her MIND when she asked you to be unethical and spoke to you in that manner. For all it’s worth, I’m proud of you. You are an inspiration to the young women of corporate america.
Will I still be an inspiration if I told you that I’m plotting the day when our roles are reversed? LOL The DC area has a small professional network, and at the rate my career is moving, we will cross paths again one day. *evil grin* [-SM]
What a nice surprise. I’ve been a lurker for a while and have enjoyed your blog immensely. You seem to have it together and are mos def what I aspire to be like financially and career-wise. Professionalism is always the best reaction. More spending money for Hawaii !!
I wish I could spend it in Hawaii. I’ll use it to carry my investment property so I won’t have to tap my emergency fund. I know, there goes that responsible side of me again. Boring, huh? LOL [-SM]
Single Ma:
As a regular reader, I perceived that this was the situation on the ‘new’ job, since you stated that you did not like the new company. Never said I didn’t like my current job. LOVE my new boss, my client is whack, the work isn’t really challenging, but it’s ok. [-SM] Notice, it’s seldom the work that drives people away, but the damaged beyond repair personalities of the coworkers and/or managers that makes a person look for other opportunities.
You truly are among the best. I would be in jail right now had I been in that circumstance.
SM - you are the quintessential example of professionalism. I’ll bet that the second BLFH let the words out of her mouth, she knew the gig was up. At that one moment, you had all the leverage, and she knew it. No wonder she was -er- passing bricks from the moment you submitted your resignation.
I’ve learned from experience that what does not kill us makes us stronger, even if it means taking that new-found strength to another position or another company.
Kudos to you!
Good for you. Frankly, given the little you have hinted about your former boss, I was not surprised she came out with such foulness…people do eventually show who they are, whether they want to or not. I think the most interesting part of your story was the f/u with the HBICs. Using the money as an opportunity to network and maintain contact….I likey.
Using the money as an opportunity to network and maintain contact….I likey.
Ha! I knew YOU would catch my strategic intent.
That’s how the game is played.
[-SM]