Money Gossip With Single Ma

My ears are often assaulted by some of the craziest ish I’ve ever heard. I tell ya, sometimes, I wish you all were with me. Not only to hear this crazy ish, but to witness the look on my face (and/or my reaction) when I hear it. So I’ve decided to make “Money Gossip With Single Ma” a regular feature on this blog.

First up…cousin V. Let me set the scene and provide a little back story.

Cousin V and I are related on my father’s side and we pretty much grew up together in Brick City. After my mom uprooted me to the south at age 15/16, I loss touch with that side of my family. Now that we’re all grown up, we’ve tried to reconnect over the years and I’ve recently learned that she’s getting married this month. Yay!

I’m told he’s a very nice gentleman, God fearing, church going, and absolutely adores her. All her words but ok. I assume he has cousin V wide open because I’ve only heard from her 3 times this whole year, which includes the phone call to tell me she was getting married. Hmm…

On Saturday, Single Ma was visiting her rental property for the umpteenth time. Ya know, she’s had her first taste of tenants from hell. Due to unforeseen circumstances, she’s carried the mortgage (and paid rent) for two months with no rental income.

A little agitated by current events, Single Ma is standing on the basement steps and talking to her maintenance guy. He’s just given her a run down of all that he’s had to do over the past 3 weeks and she’s waiting to hear the amount of his total labor bill when they’re interrupted by her cell phone.

*ring ring*

Single Ma: Excuse me for a second please…hello.

Cousin V: Hey cuz, wassup!?!

SM: It’s your world, I’m just a squirrel. ‘Sup with you?

V: Can’t complain. Look cuz, I need a big favor.

SM: *sitting down on the stairs* Ok…

V: I need to borrow $3,000 by Tuesday. I can pay you back…[words are incoherent]

SM: *dumbfounded*

How do you think this conversation ended?

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    26 comments:

    1. MsLindiwe, 10 August 2008, 20:43

      *Raising hand frantically* Ooh, ooh! Miz Lady! Call on me!

      Um…did you just bust out laughing? And then assume it was a crank call, press “end” and go back to your business?

       
    2. nofearingthemoney, 10 August 2008, 20:59

      Click…if you were NOT in the mood to tell someone off.

      If it went the other way, well, I can imagine.

      Either way, unless someone was dying, it did not end with you loaning (keep it real: giving) her three grand.

       
    3. Delonda, 10 August 2008, 21:02

      You got to be joking…lol
      The nerve of some people, right?
      Tell me, Did you let her down eassssssy? lmao

       
    4. lisa, 10 August 2008, 22:56

      “Sorry cousin V. just spent the money I was going to give you on my house reairs”???

       
    5. Hrtsdzr, 10 August 2008, 23:00

      SM= Who is this again?
      CV= It’s me V, I’m good for it, something came up at the last minute.
      SM= I’m in the middle of something right now, let me get back with you.
      CV= Ok cuz, but please I need it by Tuesday.
      SM= I think I hear you, I’ll get back w/ you. Bye!!

      CV= Still waiting for a call back.

      SM= Debating if she feels comfortable LOANING that amount of $$$$.

      to be continued……

       
    6. tanyetta, 10 August 2008, 23:20

      I hate ignorant people.

      Don’t call and waste my time.

      That’s just rude as hell.

      I am highly offended.

      Click!

       
    7. finance girl, 11 August 2008, 1:09

      Hopefully no loan on your part? yikes, what a phone call!

       
    8. S23, 11 August 2008, 6:42

      I doubt you loaned her the money b/c everyone knows when you “loan” money to family, you might as well be giving them a gift..

       
    9. toniannette, 11 August 2008, 8:24

      Since “hell to the naw” is not quite appropriate even for relatives. I’m sure you just gave her a soft polite “no”.

       
    10. dogatemyfinances, 11 August 2008, 8:31

      SM: I’ve got $500 and a copy of [insert personal finance book here]. If you want it, you’re going to have to [insert rental repairs here].

      *click*

       
    11. Legal Editor Mom, 11 August 2008, 9:04

      I can just imagine what you were thinking and what you were tempted to say, but I think you simply said, “Sorry, cuz, but I do not lend money.” Or, if you were feeling a bit more generous with your words, perhaps, “I’m sorry that you’re in a bind, cuz. But I do not lend money.” End of conversation.

       
    12. Lady V, 11 August 2008, 9:14

      Cuzzin V’s words were incoherent because you weren’t trying to hear it!

      I hope you let her down relatively easy…after all, she is a relative.

       
    13. BK, 11 August 2008, 9:28

      I’m weak… just THINKING about it..

      I’m sure you mumbled a BernieMacIsm and hung up LOL

       
    14. K., 11 August 2008, 9:34

      V: I need to borrow $3,000 by Tuesday. I can pay you back…[words are incoherent]

      SM: Ask your man! And you KNOW you wouldn’t pay me back! ~click~

       
    15. Debt Hater, 11 August 2008, 9:40

      You said, “Of course cuz, are you sure you don’t need $5,000 just in case?” NOT.

      Um, are guys coming to break her thumbs, because that’s exactly the kind of ish this sounds like.

       
    16. Becky, 11 August 2008, 12:09

      Along with everyone else, I’m guess you didn’t loan her the money. And with an excellent excuse standing right in front of you.

       
    17. Ms_Leo, 11 August 2008, 12:11

      SM: You’ve given me practically no time to come up with that type of money, besides the point that I’m in the midst of my own financial matters. You’re going to have to find another bank - I mean person to loan you the cash.

      CV: Oh, but you got it like that? I promise you’ll be invited to the wedding…

      SM: I got to go.

       
    18. ElleX, 11 August 2008, 13:07

      SM: I don’t have $3000 to loan to you.*

      CV: (silence)

      SM: I gotta go. I am conducting business right now.

      Click

      *Surely, you have something else to do with 3 grand besides loan it out to Cousin V! And Cousin V doesn’t need an explanation as to why you aren’t going to lend it to her. It’s your money and your power! We (I and the other commentors) are sure Cousin V got neither!

       
    19. caryn, 11 August 2008, 14:09

      wow thats alot of money! and i love how she gave you a deadline, i need it by TUESDAY! i’m guessing, like everyone else, you laughed and hung up…or something along those lines :) good luck with the rental repairs!

       
    20. Single Ma, 11 August 2008, 17:39

      Wow, my online buddies know me better than family. Go figure. Me thinks cousin V should come here and ask somebody. Hmph!

       
    21. Rufina, 11 August 2008, 20:55

      I think you told her to go and ask her wonderful church going and God fearing man who adores her for a loan, especially since its probably related to the wedding and he can loan money to his future wife, cant he?

      I got a better one, you agreed to give her $100 with an understanding that this would be in lieu of a wedding gift? :-)

       
    22. Sistah Ant, 12 August 2008, 11:29

      I think I like dogatemyfinances response the best.

       
    23. Velvet Jones, 12 August 2008, 17:33

      “How do you think this conversation ended?”

      Response: Bish plz!

      Oh. Wait. Was this supposed to be how we think you would respond instead of me? My bad.

      Actually, my answer stands.

       
    24. Nikki, 12 August 2008, 19:58

      “How do you think this conversation ended?”

      SM: Hell No! Click

       
    25. Gena, 12 August 2008, 22:33

      I can’t even guess what you said, I just know what I would have said:

      Now what now? You must be smokin gal!! CLICK

       
    26. dogatemyfinances, 17 August 2008, 13:03

      So you’re never going to tell us what you said? Or what the purse cost? ????

       

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