Fabulous Financials

Is there any relation between the two?

Hmm…

- they both require skill

- they both require a little strategy and planning

- they can both be dangerous if you’re not careful

- if you’re successful, they both make you feel like a million bucks

- if you fail, they both make you feel like a L-O-S-E-R

For some people, one of the two (or maybe even both) comes naturally. I’m sure you can guess which one I can claim. LOL

After a long week at the conference, all I could think about was seeing Mr. Eye Candy on Saturday (today) and spending time with two fabulous girlfriends at our the Sex and the City brunch on Sunday (tomorrow). At least 20 of my colleagues were on the same flight, so I was still in work mode but dressed very casual (jeans, low heels, no makeup, etc.). The flight was only 2.5 hours and I was looking forward to finally turning “off” the corporate persona.

When they called “group 3,” I was so relieved. I just wanted to board the plane, find my seat, and ride in silence to my destination. I put on a fake smile and waved as I passed all the new and familiar faces. When I entered the plane, I searched the seating numbers.

*thinking* I’m almost there. Almost there. 16A. 16A. Where for art thou 16A.

*thinking* I hope I’m not sitting next to a colleague.

Then I saw him.

Brown, smooth skin, bald, also casually dressed. Blazer, button down shirt, jeans, fresh white sneaks. I scanned him from head to toe in less than 5 seconds. Then I looked up at the numbers, and sure enough, my beloved 16A.

*thinking* But damn, he’s cute! How long is this flight again??????

Single Ma: *pointing to the empty seat* This is me.

Cute Guy: *smiling* Well today must be my lucky day.

Single Ma: *thinking* Damn, his teeth are so pretty!

Single Ma: *forcing a smile* Is that right?

He stood up to let me in, then my radar scanned again.

5′10″ (give or take an inch), no wedding band, and the smell of Issey Miyake invaded my nostrils. I know that scent anywhere. Both of my “ex-es” wore it but Mr. Eye Candy hates it. He says it’s too “run of the mill” for him. Hmph! But the smell is mesmerizing.

I tried to ease into the window seat without touching him, but he made it damn near impossible. Most people would get completely out of their seat and move into the aisle to let the other person through, but noooooo…he stood up and moved just enough so I would have to squeeeeeze past him. Fucker!

As I’m trying to settle in and get comfortable, I noticed him glancing at me occasionally. On purpose, I did not look in his direction. Men with pretty smiles and beautiful white teeth are dangerous! LOL So I pulled out my book to send a message (please Mr. Pretty Smile, do not make me nervous while sitting next to you for 2 hours), but that didn’t work.

Cute Guy: All comfy?

Single Ma: Yes, thank you.

Cute Guy: What are you reading?

Single Ma: *flips the book over so he can see the cover*

Cute Guy: *eyes light up as he enunciates each word* Sex – and – the – City. Interesting.

Single Ma: *half smiles and turns to stare out the window*

Cute Guy: *contemplates his next move*

Single Ma: *thinking* Shyt, bad book selection for THIS flight!

After a few moments, the flight attendant welcomes us aboard flight xxx, goes through the emergency instructions, and the pilot prepares for take off. I turn and notice that he still hasn’t fastened his seat belt. I waited a little while to see if he would put it on because I didn’t want to say anything, but as the plane began speeding down the runway, my mommy instincts kicked in.

Single Ma: Do you need help putting on your seat belt?

Immediately, I regretted choosing those words.

Cute Guy: *flashing that dangerous smile again* Actually, I do. Will you help me?

Single Ma: *thinking* He can’t be serious.

Reluctantly, I leaned over to get the half of his seat belt that was stuck between our seats. When I handed it to him, he grabbed my hand and not the seat belt.

Single Ma: *blink blink*

Cute Guy: I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

Single Ma: *nervous* Mmm Hmm…

Cute Guy: Your hands are so soft. How do you keep your hands so soft?

Single Ma: *being a smart aleck* Regular manicures and no dishes! LOL!

Cute Guy: *laughing* I take it you don’t cook then?

Single Ma: *thinking* I hate that fucking question!

Single Ma: *stops laughing* Nope.

Single Ma: *turns to the window again*

Cute Guy: *wondering if he pissed me off and unsure of what to say next*

Cute Guy: By the way, thank you for making sure I had my seat belt on. Good looking out.

Single Ma: *turns and smiles – no words*

Cute Guy: *probably confused*

As the plane takes off and we level in the air, I open the tray and spread my book. I was hoping he would let me read in peace because his scent was already fucking up my concentration. My conscience said “Be good Single Ma. You’re going to see Mr. Eye Candy tomorrow. Everything will be alright. You can get through this.”

About 10 minutes into the flight, I began to get cold. I returned the tray to its position, put my book in the seat pocket, then reached down into my carry-on for my wrap. It wasn’t there. Damn, I packed it with my luggage! So I reached up to close the air vent and he started again.

Cute Guy: Are you cold?

Single Ma: Yea, a little.

Cute Guy: Would you like my jacket?

Single Ma: No thank you.

Cute Guy: Are you sure? We can cuddle in it together?

Single Ma: *tilted my head to the side – you know the tilt women use to make men think they are amusing – and cracked up laughing*

Single Ma: Oh that’s so cute. But no thank you, I’ll be ok.

Cute Guy: *looking rejected*

Single Ma: *thinking* Dammit Single Ma, where is your quick wit! You slipping today!

The next hour of the flight was much of the same. Cute Guy being flirtatious and trying to open the door for conversation and Single Ma acting like she’s not interested at all. Which was the furthest from the truth! To control my weaknesses, I had to fake like I was tired. I leaned away from him and towards the window, then closed my eyes to catch a few Zs.

I fell asleep for what I thought was only a few minutes, but I slept for the other half of the flight. I was awaken by the sound of the pilot telling the flight attendants to prepare for landing. To my surprise, my sense of smell was next. Gosh, he smelled so damn good. Then I realized…this sweetie pie of a guy draped his blazer over me because he knew I was cold. Awww.

And…he was reading my book! HA HA HA HA HA

Single Ma: *shifting in the seat*

Cute Guy: You well rested?

Single Ma: Mmm Hmm, thank you for your jacket.

Cute Guy: No problem. Since you left a brother all cold and alone, I helped myself to your book. I hope you don’t mind.

Single Ma: *laughing* No I don’t mind, but why are you interested in a girlie book.

Cute Guy: *flashing those pearly whites again* ‘Cause a man needs to stay at the top of his game. You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Except women are not enemies. You’re more like the Da Vinci Code, hard to figure out.

Single Ma: *thinking* That last sentence was laced with hidden messages and I could jump all over it.

Single Ma: *nervous and can’t think of a funny response*

Single Ma: *thinking* My game is OFF today!

Single Ma: *smile* I hear you.

*awkward silence*

Cute Guy: *trying to keep the conversation going* So…Ms. Sleepy, where are you headed today.

Single Ma: *with all of her charisma (don’t laugh), infinite wisdom (I hear you laughing), and not an ounce of fabulosity said…* Home!

HA HA HA HA I have no game AT ALL!! LOL!

Cute Guy: *realizes that I’m either UNavailable or an old lady living in a shoe* Well alright then, I hope your trip HOME is a safe one. *hands me my book*

Single Ma: *smile* Thanks, you too.

Single Ma: *thinking* Damn he’s so cute AND he smells good! Why is his smell so strong? Hurry up and get me off this plane!

Cute Guy: Uh, may I have my jacket back?

Single Ma: *thinking* Duh! You still have his jacket stupid!

Single Ma: *stuttering* Oh. Sure. Sorry. Here ya go. Thanks for keeping me warm.

Cute Guy: *laughing* NOW she wakes up! I could say so much in response to that, but I won’t even go there…*laughing and shaking his head*

We exit the plane and part ways the same as we entered – complete strangers with our minds focused on our final destination. No personal information was exchanged, not even a name.

As one of my girlfriends said, I’m such a serial monogamous. I don’t know if it was thoughts of Mr. Eye Candy or thoughts of Mr. Eye Candy taking me to Hawaii. All I know is – a gainfully employed, fine specimen of a black man with the pearly whites made me weak in the knees and my flirt game was on hiatus. Geez, I’m getting old.

Guess I better stick to money. That’s the only thing I can control at ALL times with confidence. Then again, I was at the top of my game and confident at work when Mr. Eye Candy caught my attention. New title, more money, new staff, and new office. I was the HBIC and ready to take on the world! But dude had me tripping over my own two feet! LOL!

When it comes to fine men, strange things happen in Single Ma’s world. *shrug*

[image credit]