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This morning, I asked FF readers: What is one thing you love about being a mom?

My answer: watching my BabyGirl grow from a pudgy, little slobber magnet into a beautiful, intelligent young woman right before my very eyes.

With only one child, I consider myself lucky because I need a new cape already! LOL You see, I’ve been a mom for almost 16 years and let me tell you something - it does NOT get easier as they age. This is my third year blogging on Mother’s Day, and last year, BabyGirl helped me realize that Mother’s Day will never be the same. So in honor of my 16th year performing the hardest job on earth, I’ve decided to reflect on the past, present, and future.

Ages 0-4

I watched my BabyGirl grow up so quickly. As a young mother, still somewhat a child myself, I missed many pivotal moments. Although I was “there” physically, I didn’t value the importance of each milestone. I don’t have any of her pictures from the hospital. I didn’t bronze her first shoe. I don’t have videos of her first tooth, her first step, or the first time she said mama. When she outgrew her bassinet, crib, walker, high chair, and car seat, I gave them away to the first person who said “I need…” I was told and always believed that keeping “baby” things too long would make room for the next one. And I was determined there would NOT be a next one! Don’t get me wrong, I loved my BabyGirl. I just wanted her to stop crying so dang much and I couldn’t wait for her to become more independent.

Ages 5-9

During this second phase is when I became a real single mom (zero help from dad), but that’s ok because life was wonderful. If I could, I would have stopped the hands of time. She was my perfect little angel. She was smart and loving. So innocent and carefree. I dressed her like my doll baby, did her hair, and sent her off to school. We played together, relaxed together, and had weekly mommy/daughter days together. Just the two of us. The Easy Bake Oven, Barbie’s Dream House, and Disney movies were a favorite pastime. I watched her develop a little personality and she was the apple of my eye. Likewise, mommy could do no wrong.

Somewhere between home and school, she decided that she was going to be the first woman president of the United States. With sheer determination, she wanted to learn everything there was to know in the “whole wide world” so all the stupid boys would stop referring to her as “girl” and take her seriously. I encouraged my BabyGirl to reach for the stars, but I just wanted her to stop asking so many friggin’ questions. LOL

Ages 10-14

During this third phase, she became a little mini-me. Smart, determined, independent, and assertive. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think God was playing a trick on me. Most of the time, I admired her sassy-ness, but when it was misdirected (at me), I wanted to trade her in for a dog. Bought one, got stuck with both. Sheesh! Many times, I prayed for a do-over of phase 1. “Please Lord, give me back my baby! I promise I’ll do better next time!” For a long stretch, it seemed that my prayers were answered. She excelled in school, took an interest in things I only dreamed of at her age, and continued to lean on me for guidance.

Then one day, something change. He gave her breasts and hips and long(er) hair and lawdymercy…confidence. The transition was quite strange because one minute she was a child, then the next…I could have been looking at myself in the flesh. *gag* At her age, I was hell on wheels. *smh* Every time I looked at her, I saw a reflection of myself and wanted to poke my eyes out. Committing suicide was probably a better option. This is when I learned that unconditional love changes over time and there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all parenting style. She was changing, so my rules, discipline, and expectations had to change. Through trial and error, we survived. But the challenges were only beginning…*sigh*

Ages 15-19

I’ve recently entered the phase that my own mother warned me about. The one I now refer to as “growing pains.” Depending on the day of the week, BabyGirl can be my strongest ally or most defiant adversary. Sometimes what mom says is gospel, sometimes my words go in one ear and out the other. We still have mommy/daughter days, but not as often. Now we cook together in the real kitchen and go shopping at the mall. She’s my little diva in training, so I still try to dress her up like my doll baby, do her hair, and send her off to school…but out of nowhere, she transformed gremlin-style. Now she prefers to dress like a boy (baby T, baggy sweats, high-top Nike’s) and cut off all her hair. I should have known better than to feed her after midnight.

Like the devil’s spawn, she pushes the limits at every opportunity to see how far they will stretch. Sometime I tighten the reigns to remind her that I’m HNIC, but every now and then, she may glide under the radar unscathed. Basically, I choose my battles. I’m learning that communication, which includes speaking AND listening, is more important now than ever. We have good days and bad, but we still love, hug, kiss, and play…a lot whenever she’s in the mood. At the same time, I’ve also drawn a line and made it very clear - I am her “mom,” she is my “child,” and we are NOT “friends.” She doesn’t have to like my rules, but she does have to live with them.

Although she probably daydreams about it at least 23.5 of the 24 hours in a day, she’s too young to go out into the world on her own. And although I would like her to be, I’ve come to terms that she isn’t my perfect, innocent, little angel anymore. In exchange for the reality we’ve both been forced to accept, I comfort myself with thoughts of dropping her off in the middle of a deserted landfill and never returning. But I always find it in my heart to let her come back home. Even my imagination is warped! Oh well, I’ve been reassured that after this phase, the tide will turn again and the hardest part will be over. *fingers crossed* For some reason, I don’t believe it.

Age 20+

If God has any mercy on me, He’d let me keep my sanity. Actually, at this point, I’ll be happy if He’d just let me keep all my hair. In her early 20s, I hope and pray that she completes her college degree and remains focused on the ideal goal - graduation, career, marriage, THEN children. Beyond that, I want her to maintain her independence, confidence, and assertive nature, but use them to her advantage appropriately. I pray that she makes wise decisions, or otherwise, find the strength to be accountable and face the consequences of her choices - without mom’s assistance. No matter her age or chosen path to life, I will always be Mom, she will always be my BabyGirl, and I will always love her…unconditionally. Like only a mother could.

And on that note, I say again - Happy Mother’s Day to all of you fabulous Moms!