How Do You Define Yourself?
This is a guest post by Kimber at No Limit Ladies. If you like what you read, please check out her blog and subscribe to her feed.
During a recent party, while chatting it up with my girls, I was introduced to a new person. She asked the standard ice breaker, “What do you do?”
I honestly didn’t know. I was stunned at first and then blabbered through some convoluted explanation, my buddies, all the time, snickering into their beverages. Ever since, they ask me what I do at the beginning of every conversation.
What DO I do? Am I a corporate consultant? An investor? An entrepreneur? A blogger? A writer? No one wants to hear that laundry list of occupations. I have to pick one.
Very difficult.
Many of us have this issue, especially women. If we take maternity leave, are we temporary stay-at-home Moms or corporate gals on a break? If most of our income comes from investments yet we work as accountants, are we investors or accountants?
And why does it matter?
Because our “label” tells others what our focus is. If I say I’m a writer, the conversation will turn to writing. Perhaps the newcomer knows a book reviewer or better yet, a small press friendly agent (do they exist?). There is potential for growth. There is potential for wealth and career building.
The natural inclination is to “be” who you’re best at being, to impress people. I do the opposite. I introduce myself with my weakest title, the one I need most help with. If I’m looking for an agent, I’m always a writer. If I need a contract gig, I’m always a consultant.
It is when I don’t need anything that it becomes challenging.
How do you define yourself? Does it change depending on the circumstance?
Kimber Chin also writes romance novels based in the business world , in addition to her blog at No Limit Ladies.
~*~*~*~*~*~Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!
If you enjoy reading this site, don't miss a thing! Subscribe to Fabulous Financials via email or RSS feed so you can receive notifications when I publish new content.
7 comments:
Write a comment:
Want an image next to your comment? Get your Gravatar here!
Have you read the Fabulous Financials comment policy lately?
To the extent possible, I try not to “define myself.” If asked what I ‘do’, I usually clarify and ask if they mean what do I do for a living and then I explain it. If someone asks what religion I am, I will often say that I am a practioner of the buddha dharma. Most of the time, labels are boxes and to the extent that we confine ourselves to them, there is not room for other experiences (new labels, if you like) and we can subconsciously separate ourselves from others who don’t share the label.
So, while it is convenient to label oneself, I try not to do it. But, it is a deliberate exercise and I don’t always succeed, mainly because it IS convenient and people like labels, myself included. It makes people feel more comfortable with who they think you might be.
How I see labels, Nofearingthemoney,
is as a ‘cheat’ for finding something in common.
If someone tells me “I’m a Mom”
then I can safely ask about her kids, etc
without looking like a fool.
From there, hopefully,
she’ll drop hints on other interests
and gradually we’ll build a relationship.
If the other person shares nothing about herself,
relationship building is very challenging.
At networking events, you have to have an instant answer to this question. I tell them my day job, which makes the cash. They might not need my business, but they might know someone who knows someone who does.
Myself, I don’t use this question very often because women seem to want to define themselves as mothers, which pretty much kills the conversation for me. Or men want to give some long complicated explanation for all their subcorporations and side ventures, also killing conversation.
I have the real label and the label I desire to wear. I guess the overall goal to make the desired labeled the actual label. Then of course it depends on your audience. It is human tendancy to lend towards the label that is most impressive to your crowd. Mother of two, Writer, Make Up Artist, Network Technician. I am all of those at once and then maybe just one of those depending on my audience.
I’ve had trouble with this question. No one is interested in my career. (I work with the automated degree audit system at a university.) I have used “bureaucrat,” “pink-collar worker,” and “I work at the university.” But I’ve recently decided that the point of this question is to make conversation. (Actually, I’ve used the “bureaucrat” answer to end the conversation with someone I didn’t want to talk to. It worked.) And to bring the conversation somewhere interesting, I’ve been thinking I should change my answer to something more like this: “Wanna-be creator of educational materials. My day-job is glorified secretarial work.”
I hear you Debbie.
I’ve been in not-so-exciting jobs myself.
What I usually do is pick the strangest thing
that I’ve ever had to deal with
and use that as an example.
Like when I was in customer service,
I’d say I was in the saving lives business.
I’d then tell the story
about when we had this question from a Dad
“My daughter is deathly allergic to peaches.
Can I give her your Peach punch?”
I am recently retired from the Army (20yrs). I am 39. I will be a “paid” live in nannie to a 15yr old. Her mom and stepdad are civilans working in Baghdad.
I looking and searching for that job/career that allows me to educate and empowering others. I am taking this off time to reconnect with myself felt like I lost myself while on active duty.
I am a big fan of Dave Ramsey a big personal finance cat. I think I will began a blogging about personal my personal finances and my new natural hair style -sisterlocks.
Back to Job/work defining us..I was ask about this just this weekend and when I said I am not currently working (Dec 07-Jun 08), I could see the judgement all over his face. I wasn’t the least bit interested to getting to know him so I did not bother defending or explaining. Like saying my net worth is so and so and I am debt free and I live on a budget