The Professional Woman: Summary and Recommended Reading
For the past two weeks, I’ve been writing a series about what it means to be a Professional Woman. I’ve included tips on understanding the male communication style, juggling work & family, being assertive, leadership styles, networking, finding a mentor, and much more. If you’ve missed anything, I’ve created a link summary to the entire series at the bottom of this post. In closing, I’d like to share common characteristics of successful women leaders:
|
Successful Women Managers Have… |
Which Indicates They Also Have… |
|
|
|
|
Help from above |
A mentor, networking skills |
|
A track record of achievements |
Proven expertise, experience |
|
A desire to succeed |
Ambition, enthusiasm, and drive |
|
An ability to manage staff |
Leadership, communication skills |
|
A willingness to take career risks |
Courage, problem-solving skills |
|
The ability to be decisive and demanding |
An assertive character, high standards, and decision making skills |
|
An impressive presence |
A sense of style, confidence, and poise |
If you want to be a successful leader within your organization, review this list to see how you compare to other successful women. Identify the areas where you need to improve and make them a priority in your career development.
Other Helpful Information
A. Your Professional Image
Your professional image is not just your appearance, it also consists of the way you carry yourself, your personality, your behavior, your attitude, and most importantly - your reputation - or in other words, what other people think of you. I am nearly 10 years into my career, but I am still establishing my professional image. It’s a continuous work in progress, but for the most part:
- I am well liked by most of my peers, subordinates, and management - can’t please everybody and don’t try to.
- I may not be considered the nicest, no kumbaya BS in my camp, but I am known to be fair.
- I respect everyone’s opinion, no matter what your rank or position, and I treat everyone with kindness and respect - even when they don’t deserve it. LOL
- I don’t make promises I can’t keep, I do what I say I’m going to do, and I always follow up.
- No matter how difficult the project, I consistently deliver results.
As evident by my post “When Your Reputation Precedes You,” or the post titled “Worth More Than Money,” I think I’m doing ok. As I stated previously, I’m still a work in progress, so there’s always room for improvement. While all of these things (e.g. personality, behavior, attitude, and reputation) are equally important when developing your professional image, I’ll also share a few tips from the course about professional appearance.
For women - from most professional to casual environment:
1. Two piece skirt suit, any dark color but avoid black
2. Two piece skirt suit, light color
3. Dress with jacket
4. Solid color dress, appropriate length
5. Pants suit - I was surprised by this, but pant suits on women are considered very informal.
Fashion faux pas: women should never show your legs in a professional environment without pantyhose. I know, I hate ‘em too. But when in a formal office, we must play by the rules.
For men - from most professional to casual environment:
1. Two piece suit, dark color - preferably navy, gray or pinstripe but avoid black
2. Two piece suit, light color - taupe or beige
3. Sports coat coordinated with button down dress shirt and slacks, matching tie
4. Sports coat coordinated with button down dress shirt and slacks, no tie
5. Khakis with Oxford shirt (not polo), it’s easier to throw on a jacket and tie if rushed to a meeting.
Fashion faux pas: Men should never wear short sleeve dress shirts - even in the summer. Look around your office, have you ever seen a male executive wearing a short sleeve dress shirt? No! When it gets hot, they will roll up their sleeves. Short sleeves in a professional office are considered low class.
For both women and men, if ever in doubt, mimic your boss’ attire.
B. Tips/Quotes (contributed by the class)
- “fight the problem, not the person”
- “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”
- “seek to understand, then to be understood”
- “praise in public, punish in private”
C. Recommended Reading & Videos (from the instructor)
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Stephen R. Covey, et al
- Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work by Deborah Tannen [video]
- Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers by Loise P. Frankel
- How to Think Like a CEO: The 22 Vital Traits You Need to be the Person at the Top by Debra Benton
- Invisible Rules (video): Men, Women, and Teams by Pat Heim <<–loved it!
- Egonomics: What Makes Ego Our Greatest Asset (or Most Expensive Liability) by David Marcum and Steven Smith
- Women’s Dress for Success by John T. Molloy [men's version]
There’s so much more I could have written, but this series was getting laborious. Oh, and I’m kinda tired of the subject too. LOL! Perhaps in the future, I will weave the other concepts into my personal career related posts. Until then, I hope you found something useful in this series that will help you improve your career and continue to prosper as a Professional Woman.
The Full Series:
Part I: The Professional Woman
Part II: The Myth of Having it All and Being Assertive
Part III: Leadership Styles (participative vs. command & control)
Part IV: Developing Relationships (networking and mentoring)
Part V: Summary and Recommended Reading
Thanks for reading!!
~*~*~*~*~*~Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And always, BE FABULOUS!
This blog is the story of my financial life as a single mom. Subscribe via (feed reader) or (email) to follow the rest of my fabulous journey.
Thanks a lot for posting the series. As an upcoming professional I want to be sure I keep a good, clean reputation and start doing the right things from the get go.
Thanks for this series, Single Ma - well done.
I think that your reading resource list is very good - I second the vote for “Crucial Conversations” and “Nice Girls…”
This is absolutely essential. You must write a book!
Does this no black skirt suits rule apply to interviews as well? I have always been told that a black suit was acceptable.
This series was awesome, I really appreciate your taking out the time to sum up what you’ve learned. This information is invaluable in reinforcing what I’ve learned in supervisor/managing workshops, and much more focused on gender differences in styles which is something our classes don’t cover. Thanks!!
what’s the option for a woman who doesn’t look good in a skirt? I prefer pantsuits because of my skinny legs. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a skirt.
Nice list, I need to print this out
If YOU enjoyed it and didn’t have anything smart to say, I feel like I did a good job.
*pat myself on the back* LOL [-SM]
I don’t like the skirt suit rule and I don’t think it’s a rule that women should be perpetuating (although women do need to be aware it exists).
When I was in law school (only 3 yrs ago) female students were instructed by career services not to wear pants suits to interviews since some attorneys and judges (including female attorneys and judges) still feel women belong in skirts. There was a big backlash from the women in my class and the policy changed to informing female students of certain biases rather than instructing them to wear skirt suits. (Btw we were also instructed only to wear black or navy suits on interviews).
I think the skirt suit rule continues to be a real issue for women in the workplace especially at a time when many people think sexism and gender bias is no longer a significant issue. (Mainly I think it is reflective of deeper issues that are mostly ignored). I do not have a problem with anyone wearing skirt suits but I think it is completely inappropriate to suggest it is necessary for a women to do if she is would prefer not to and especially if she is not comfortable doing so. I don’t believe in playing by those kind of rules. (I also hate the pantyhose rule and don’t follow it (which is part of the reason I personally very rarely wear skirt suits) but I agree that it should probably be followed).
Btw, I’ve been lurking for a while and love your site. Thank you!
This post wasn’t written to initiate a debate. By all means, do what works for you. [-SM]
Did they give a reason for avoiding black suits? i’ve never heard that before. I see lots of black suits where I work…
I ALWAYS follow the pantyhose rule, and I can’t even wear dress shoes without them.
But to piggyback on the lurker - I was taught the same thing about pants suits being informal to judges, etc. And they can kiss my - Well, you can finish that sentence yourself. I wear both skirt suits and pants suits depending on how I feel and if they don’t like it, they just don’t. My work environments have always been dress casual, which I find people seem to have the most problems with because they tend to err too much on the side of casual. You should always err more on the side of dress.
Anyway, thanks so much for sharing. I might check out some of those books.
This was a great series; thanks!
I, too, was surprised that pant suits were considered very informal. My job is business professional/formal and I wear pants predominately. First, in my opinion, for my particular job, a skirt is inappropriate for walking around shop floors, around machinery (and usually high heels would be prohibited). Second, I work in a male dominated industry (maintenance. Less than 2% are women in my particular field). And I always wear pant suits to an interview.
The “avoid black” is interesting, too. My company used to be even more conservative and men wore black suits, white or light blue shirts, and solid print ties.
But my case is not the typical corporate world.
Ma- you should know me by now– I’m sarcastic !!!
I’ve been following this series and I love all of it! If you don’t mind Im going to print all of it out for reading on the metro (yea i know lol)..this is good stuff!
The skirt rule may be archaic and sexist but since I work for money and not to make a statement, I always wear a skirt when in federal court which is very formal and when at trial. I’ll wear pants to state court in the bay area and administrative stuff but state court in L.A also goes strictly formal. In certain counties in the Bay Area I lean toward casual because that’s the environment. A power suit could backfire on you.
Some people don’t even recognize their biases and instead of making a stand and appearing in a pants suit, that may disadvantage my client and my finances I conform to my locale. I hit the restroom as soon as I’m done and take off pantyhose, unpin my hair, switch shoes and get comfy.
Preface:
My beef is not about pants vs. skirts being professional as much as exposed bare feet and legs in professional or traditionally formal environments.
Before women get all upset after reading this, let me say I (a man) am for equality between men and women, but that DOES NOT mean there should be a double
standard when it comes to professional and classy dress. As it stands today, women can get away wearing pretty much what they want in many environments -
work, school, courtrooms, church, the symphony etc. I’ve even read stories/postings and seen where women show up to school or work at professional environments (banks, lawfirms, offices) in their PJ’s, bedroom slippers, a T-shirt and flip-flops, and clearly just rolled out of bed…yet they still demand R-E-S-P-E-C-T and cannot for the life of them figure out why people get upset about what they wear. Men, on the other hand, are still expected to dress in a shirt, tie, socks and nice shoes before they get any respect (and, rightly so in my opinion). But honestly, how is this fair?
Additionally, it appears that as the dress code has slipped in professional settings, sexual harassment has actually increased as women feel more comfortable baring more skin. And as you lawyers know, a sexual harassment lawsuit could end a company’s life and all the jobs within it faster than you can say “Paula Jones”.
So now that a recession is upon us and nylons are making a small come-back, perhaps it is time to fight against this nonsense and insist on changes. I think
those who think those who follow the New York/Hollywood fashion world a little too religiously when it comes to poor taste, especially in the lack of wearing nylons or pantyhose, need be made to make a choice about their livelihood.
Therefore, I will not spend significant money on commissions on any woman (real estate agents, auto saleswomen, jewlery saleswomen) who refuse to wear nylon hosiery. This especially holds true for you female lawyers as well…if I am paying you $200-$400 an hour, I expect you to take the time to look like I am paying you $200-$400 an hour.