I am still an emotional spender
I thought I had overcome this bad habit, but I haven’t. The old behavior was simply lying dormant until a significant event triggered its onset. I won’t get into the details of my personal life, but I’ll say this much - whoever said “bad things happen in 3″ is a gotdayum lie! I’ve dealt with so many blows over the past week, I’ve lost count. And you all know I’m usually responsible, especially with my money, so reckless spending should be an indication of what I’m going through.
As of today, I’ve already exceeded the limit on every nonessential category in my monthly spend plan…and counting:
- Personal Pampering: $118 over
- Dining Out: $255 over
- Shopping: $280 over
On top of that - despite the cost of gas, $45-$50 to fill up, I can’t sit still. I’m either going someplace to keep my mind occupied or prancing around the house and trying to be all Martha Stewart-ish. My house is spotless, my closets are organized, my kitchen floor is sparkling, and every piece of laundry is clean, folded, and put in its rightful place. I even gave the dog a bath! Although I just spent $52 to have her groomed less than 2 weeks ago.
*sigh*
Needless to say, I’m dealing with multiple things from almost every angle. And unfortunately, things may get worse before they get better. I know this and I accept it as a way of life. But on the dimly lit bright side, my skin is thick, my faith is strong, and I’ve always been a fighter. So when the dust settles, I’ll be more fabulous than ever. Believe it!
Until then, spending money on my house and myself makes me feel better. Even if only temporary. I won’t attempt to justify my irresponsible behavior because I don’t want to insult your intelligence. However, I would like to use my personal hardships as an opportunity to demonstrate how being debt free and making responsible financial decisions (when times are good) can help you weather the storm (when times are bad).
Similar to my thoughts about unexpected expenses, I will also survive the effects of stress and emotional spending. Maybe not completely unscathed, but I’ll take minor scrapes and bruises over a financial disaster any day. So make sure YOU are prepared for life’s curve balls: get rid of your debt, avoid new debt, establish an emergency fund, live beneath your means, and make wise financial decisions TODAY. And trust me when I tell ya - bad things don’t stop at 3.
~*~*~*~*~*~Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!
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Good morning Single Ma,
I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the dust settles quickly. Remember the man upstairs does not give you more than you can handle.
Stay fabulous!
Good Morning and Happy Monday,
I spent most of yesterday in church and the overall message was ….things don’t happenTO you they happen FOR you. So while the storms keep coming, know that this rain is preparing you as you enter a new phase in your life.
Michelle
Good morning. I am sorry that you are dealing with tough times. Life right now is no fun, but what makes this a good morning is that you know yourself and how you will come out the other side. Sometimes there is no way around a problem so you have to wade in the water in order for things to get better.
Deep, calming breathes…and thanks for the reminder about responsible financial behavior. If nothing else, it gives you leeway when you find you barely have the strength to keep your head up, much less your bank account balance.
Remember, “Tough times never last, tough people do”.
I, too, will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers. Certainly, you’ll weather this time and will be stronger for it. You’re an inspiration to me.
Sadly, I struggle with the same syndrome. This, too, shall pass.
I think we all have different ways of dealing with problems. I tend to eat and although that costs money, maybe not so much as if I was shoping for clothes or household things. However, it is probably worse for me in the long run.
i dont see h u an spend on emotion -good thing is u ee it. this apost i wrote on same thing
http://rawdawgb.blogspot.com/2008/03/i-dont-dispose-of-income-folk-dont-get.html
I wish I could help more. If there is anything that I can do please let me know. In the meantime, ***hugs***
I know how those times can be. You know you can holla if you need to! And we all know you’ll be fine because you’ve proven it over and over. I hope to be that tough too!
I know all too well exactly what you mean. That emotional spending is something I grew up with and I’ve certainly picked up on my mother’s bad habits. Thank you for sharing with us even as you’re going through.
Sending positive energy out your way. They say (whoever they is) that trouble always comes right before big blessings arrive. I truly believe that. Keep pushing.
Hi Single MA ,
I SO needed to see this post - I too have let me buying decision get a bit out of hand.
I think we all need a reminder like this regularly to keep our financial decisions as smart as possible. Like you , I have reorganized my home but yet I still get that itchy urge to go out and ” just look” - yea right!!!
Thanks for this site - it is very information and helpful
Tough times WILL pass! Hold your head strong and fight on girl!!!! We’re all here for you…and many of us have probably done similar things. In my opinion, the biggest thing is facing it head on and realizing why you are spending and what the triggers are. That way you can try to meet them head on next time!
Whatever’s going on, hope it all works out for you!
Hahaaaaa so you still have that disease too??? LOL
you know Gina.. its just one of them storms..you will get through this one too..
Emotional spending I got the disease too.. See you at the meeting..
I am so sorry you are going through some tough stuff. If it makes you feel any better, I am going through some good stuff, but am doing some emotional spending anyway! (sheesh….that’s upside down).
Pretty awesome though that you see it for what it is, and that you know you will get on the other side of all this.
“This Too Shall Pass” indeed
I also clean when I’m upset. The boyfriend and I had a mini fight yesterday, and the kitchen is *sparkling.* My closets and desk are next…
It’s so funny. When I’m happy = things can be messy and I can stand disorder (somewhat); sad/anxious = I start to want to get everything in perfect order so I can feel good about something.
Oh, and I hope things get better.
Good luck, lady, I know you’ll be more fab than ever once it’s over. It just needs to get OVER!
You make your own bed, Single Ma! You have to (have to) keep your eye on the goal, and right now, what’s important is that you find that AWESOME job so you and Baby Girl don’t have to go through all your savings before it’s done. I know the ton of cash that you saved up seems like a lot, but do me a fave and add up all your bills between now and the end of that savings…
…not so big anymore, is it?
Take a breath, and put away your pocketbook!
I have tagged you for a financial (esqe) 5 meme. I hope you have the time to do it, I love your blog, really has helped me figure out some things about my finances and alot about my career
Sorry to hear things aren’t going well. Hang in there and remember the big man upstairs.
Good things: you RECOGNIZE the motivation behind your emotional spending and the fact that you’re even doing it at all; you are financially strong and smart and can recover from whatever unplanned spending you do; you have blog readers to encourage you and pray for you, if that’s what you need. I believe in you!
I hope everything works out for you. KYHUG (Keep Ya Head Up Girl).