I consider myself a superwoman and I believe I can have it all- I’m having a great time trying. Once my child arrives I know I’ll have to readjust. I work from home 90% of the time but realize just being home doesn’t mean I’m balancing motherhood with other things. In light of that this answer is only good for a limited time.

My husband makes it possible for me to have work/life balance. Other things I do is try to be working by 7 a.m. so I can be done early enough to enjoy life and the day. I do have those times where life has to take a back seat to work but I love what I do so that gets my blood pumping. I think I’m a better wife and person if I’m pursuing things other than wife and mommydom. Work gets my blood pumping and those around me become the beneficiaries of my enthusiasm and brain functioning. While I like the smell of a fresh bathroom, a sparkling kitchen and bathroom don’t make me feel like I’ve challenged myself.

My husband’s business is growing, so we’ll likely get someone to help with household stuff, so we can both maintain family and work balance once the baby arrives.

Are you passive, aggressive, or assertive? If you’re not assertive, do you feel respected at work?

I’m probably a mix of those things. I try to consider the needs of others because much of my work is about compromise- so in that I’m passive. I really want my clients to get what they want while understanding that the other party can’t lose too much or they lose the incentive to give. I can be aggressive, it is sort of my natural inclination but I realize how things fall apart when I take that stance. I’m assertive when I’m sure I’m correct but a lot of times when I know or suspect I’m wrong I have difficulty being assertive, but I don’t want to lose. I have learned that I need to keep my voice up use phrases like, ‘its my understanding’, ‘my interpretation’, as opposed to “I think” during the times when I think my position is incorrect.

Many women, even assertive women, lose credibility simply with the words they use. I find myself using “I guess” as in, “I guess what I’m trying to say is…”, when I’m not confident about something. Another biggie is saying “I’m sorry” when there’s nothing to be sorry about. For example: one of my staff members always begins her statements with “I’m sorry for bothering you, but…” or when she doesn’t understand my direction, she’ll say “I’m sorry, but can you explain xxx again.” If you keep saying you’re sorry, people will begin to think you lack confidence or when something does go wrong, it’s your fault. [-SM]

I am assertive, bordering on aggressive, in most every aspect of my life (I’m the alpha in my personal relationships, including the one with my partner). I am trying to reign in the aggressive piece, but it’s a real challenge for me. Any tips for taking the aggressive edge off? I’ve been working on my listening skills as a start…

When I get aggressive, it’s usually because I’ve crossed the line of anger. Perhaps the focus should be controlling the anger. Another strategy is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Aggression usually hurts someone else in the process, so imagine how it would make you feel if you were on the receiving end. I know it’s easier said than done, but it has helped me deal with a recent situation.

As for balance – I agree it’s tough to find balance, and historically women have shouldered most of the burden at home. Know that men are becoming more enlightened and compassionate. I’m a single dad running a household solo, and I wouldn’t give up my time with my kids for the world. In my house, it’s kids first, work second. Men will come around eventually. Meanwhile, you offer some great advice for women to take control on their own.

A single dad! Welcome! Glad you decided to comment. I look forward to hearing more of your point of view.

While I do realize that some men carry the burden of home maintenance and childcare, but let’s not fool ourselves – you are an exception, not the norm. [-SM]