Mr. First Class
Let me tell you about this character in my office.
There’s a dude that everyone refers to as Mr. First Class. He’s gay, VERY handsome, sharp dresser, quality suits, never a hair out of place, smart, an all around class act – on the outside.
He travels often (I suppose), is always bragging about his latest excursion (never brings anything back to go with his stories), and never forgets to remind us that he MUST fly first class. Hmm…ok, no biggie. But he had the nerve to insinuate that I didn’t love my child because I said I will NOT fly first class on a family vacation. *double gas face*
He also has a way of mentioning how much he paid for this and that, the high class retailers he frequents, dropping names of people and hoping we think they’re important, where his friends/family work or went to school, etc. You know the type that needs to brag just for the sake of bragging. And the kicker – for the life of me, I can’t figure out why he’s always telling people he doesn’t have to work because of how many “commas” he has in his bank account. *blank stare*
Most of you know, when it comes to finances, I can hold my own. So there isn’t much that moves Single Ma. In fact, I think he’s hilarious. Everyone else seems to be impressed with his…uh…way of life. Me? Not so much. Apparently, only my ears noticed his casual mention of making a $2k credit card payment every month. From my perspective, he takes lots of nice trips and buys lots of nice things, but he also has lots of ugly debt.
The funny thing about it, I think he noticed that I noticed. LOL Now he eyeballs me a lot when he’s talking. Or maybe it’s because I don’t grovel over his “first class” stories and weekend shenanigans with his “rich” friends. Who knows? He’s weird, I tell ya.
But none of this was blog worthy until today.
So after my class was over, I went to work to get a few things. This dude walked past my office, noticed my light was on, back tracked his step, and invited himself inside. I was in a rush and didn’t have a lot of time, so I was hoping he would make it quick. I stood up to greet him, hoping he would get the hint. Then he closed my door and I thought “What. The. F***!”
Lawd, I don’t know what prompted the BS that followed
This dude plopped in one of my chairs, took a deep breath, and decided to make my office his confessional booth. In a soft spoken voice, he began with “Single Ma, I’m not rich.” *gasp* No shyt! Then he went on to say “I have no idea why everyone thinks so.” Wow, me either!
LMAO!
Maaaaaan, I didn’t have time for that shyt, but I let him release his demons so he could feel better. Then I realized, if I wanted to leave anytime before midnight, I better tell him everything he wanted to hear. So every now and then, I’d say “it’s ok” and “no one thinks that about you” and “even if they did, they wouldn’t think any different of you now” and “I wish I could enjoy all the trips you take” and “you live a fabulous life” and “you’re very lucky to have such generous friends” and here’s the best one “I’m so jealous!” HA HA
All the while, I was multi-tasking and collecting my files so I could escape before he had a Dr. Jekyll moment. But I was thinking to myself “C’mon playa…you know I aint ya average chic. I peeped your game a long time ago. Now getdafugouttahere!”
Poor thing.
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LMAO.
Girl I think you may have met your first client (Fabulous Financials)!!
:-P
BWA HAHAHAH! That’s awesome! I must not love myself because I’ve logged a bazillion countries all NOT first class.
I am cracking up at this image. Or of anyone at my work pulling that stunt on me.
Back to Mr. Eyecandy, plz. :)
You want more Mr EC? LOL Well let me tell ya. He’s an independent consultant with an excellent reputation, his clientèle base is on a major upswing and he’s in demand. I have to admit, he’s extremely good at what he does. I’ve referred him many times myself, but he works too damn much!! I didn’t mind though when he was working FOR me. LOL!
Needless to say, we haven’t been spending as much time together as I’d like. If I’m lucky, I may get a few phone calls throughout the week, an anonymous gift in my office every once in a while, and a few hours on Saturday or Sunday shared with his laptop and BlackBerry. Nice, but it’s getting old. I’m still trying to decide how I really feel about that.
On one hand, I know it goes along with the territory of being that ‘power’ couple, so I’m trying to be patient and we’re hanging in there. However, it’s hard to hold on to the idea of ‘what could be’ when you haven’t established a solid foundation. In other words, I’m very proud of his accomplishments and what he brings to the table, but I want to have my cake and eat it too. ;-)
I tell him all the time, he started off spoiling me and set the bar too high. There’s no turning back now! LOL[-SM]
OK, this is wrong on so many levels. First, to feel the need to “show off” for people in order to get some sort of false validation. Second, to judge you on how you are choosing to spend your hard-earned vacation money. Third, after doing so, to waste your valuable time on a confession that is also really about getting more validation. Yeah…poor baby needs some therapy. Take some of that money that you are spending on foolishness and get some help, ya fake playa! LOL
It’s a shame because he isn’t a bad person. When I assign him a project, he’s one of the people who needs extra praise to keep him motivated. He’s also extremely helpful and overcompensates with almost everything he does. I think he’s been through something in life that has affected his self esteem. Otherwise, he’s very nice, handsome, and smart too. [-SM]
Wow. It seems to me like those who need to talk about it either don’t have it or are insecure about it. Those as have it have it and that’s it.
My thoughts exactly. [-SM]
Poor guy, though, it sounds like he could use some therapy, self-esteem, etc. Good job with the active listening. Hopefully that’s all he’ll need from you. If not, I’m sure you can take the “setting boundaries” step (roomed with social workers once).
LMAO! You are so evil!! Love it! Sounds like he knew you saw right through the pretend nonsense. But as I tell everyone, I don’t sweat other folks because they know who they are because they get up and smile at themselves every morning. So there’s no need for me to play into the nonsense.
Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by the other day, I have more free time now so I’ll be better at reading AND commenting.
That is some funny stuff. It’s good that he got the hint that he wasn’t impressing you with all his “stories”. You know every office has one of those people!
LOL for some reason this does not surprise me AT ALL.
LMAO hahahaaaa right.. your first client.. *after you vacate the premises* cause you can’t mix business with other business LO
He needs your help SM! I know he’s judged you in the past, but you could really help him make a change for the better. It is not your responsibility obvs, but if ever there was someone in need of your help it is this guy. I mean seriously, that flying first class thing is totally ridiculous and shows how out of touch with financial reality he is. Also, I’m not sure why you mentioned he’s gay. How is that relevant to your story?
I knew someone would ask that question. So predictable. Well I mentioned it for several reasons:
1 – To clearly paint a picture, it’s part of his description. Same as “VERY handsome, sharp dresser, quality suits, never a hair out of place, smart, an all around class act”, etc.
2 – To clearly explain his antics. I didn’t want anyone to think he was bragging to impress me because he was interested in me. It’s a very common tactic men use to attract women. Unfortunately, bragging is simply part of his nature.
3 – To clearly explain my response. I was not turned off because I thought he was an egotistical jerk. I empathized with him more because I know he’s struggled with being accepted.
So despite what you may think, him being gay is extremely relevant to situation – whether it’s my description on the blog or the way I responded to him in the real world. [-SM]
Wow. I would be speechless if I wasn’t cracking up on the inside. Now I all want to play psychologist and git into ol’ boy’s head. There must be a reason he feels the need to talk all that game. I mean, even if that was my game (without the debt, of course), I’d keep it to myself! So not only are you sharing, but you’re sharing lies? Yeah, he needs to take what money he has and spend it on therapy.
This is a hilarious story– it’s so funny that your raised eyebrow psyched him out enough that his facade totally crumbled and he begged to confess. Sounds like you could have a bright career as a CIA or KGB agent! (Hmm, maybe you ARE a CIA agent!)
But there is something sad behind it. I knew someone like this in college, who although he had many real accomplishments, felt he had to invent other outlandish stories to impress people. Some of them were obviously impossible (like that he could run a 4-minute mile despite being somewhat overweight and not much of an athlete!) The clumsy lying made him look like an idiot– rather than being impressed, we all just thought he was ridiculous! I was going to say he at least didn’t brag about money, but I just remembered he claimed to have a black Amex card and then “forgot” his wallet when a group of us all went out for pizza!
It’s too bad people feel like they can’t be themselves.
Single Ma, I love your blog!!!! I read it every day.
There’s a woman just like this in my office. I’m pregnant, and when she learned of that her first words were “How are you going to make ends meet with two if you can barely manage with one?”
She told my boss (who agrees that she’s nuts) that she came to this conclusion based on my stories about our weekends!
he sounds like that guy in the commercial on the riding lawn mower who talks about how he’s got this and that, and in the last scene he says something like, “please somebody help me. i’m drowning in debt.” i always think it’s hilarious because it proves that you NEVER know what’s going on behind the scenes. you might be envying someone, and they may be on the verge of bankruptcy.
I want to work at your job, It seems to be never a dull moment ! LOL
“Single Ma, I’m not rich.” *gasp* No shyt! <– funny
“I wish I could enjoy all the trips you take” and “you live a fabulous life”
All I can say you know how to stroke a man’s ego !!!
That is the greatest story ever!
Plus, it is totally relevant to a situation I recently had with an old acquaintance of mine, who just so happens to be a more recent acquaintance of my bf’s. She was always turning us down when we would invite her and her fiance to go out, and then brag about what they were doing instead. then, i went out of my way to invite her to my bf’s bday party, and she replies with the most extended explanation ever of how she is getting married and they are looking for the “perfect” house and are planning on having kids in a year, how she JUST bought a “brand new 2008″ car and that finances are tight. To top it all off, she says that me and my bf just “seem to be doing things too big” because she assumes that we are spending all this crazy money (which is TOTALLY not true. Most of the things we do are free or very very low cost. I’m the thriftiest chick you will ever meet. Where’s the happy hour at?! lol)
So…being the honest and upfront individual that I am, instead of ignoring her little rant and wave it off as my somewhat nonchalant bf suggested, I decided once and for all to call her on her mess. I told her that she was self-centered because she always thinks everything is about her and she is continuously trying to convince ppl that her life is so perfect. I am definitely not a hater, but this was a long time coming, since she had been acting this way for awhile. I told her that she was naive and misguided because “buying a new 2008″ car was most definitely not the best way to: a) gear up to buy a new house, and b) set your finances up to prepare for kids. I ended by telling her that this was just my opinion and not necessarily that of my bf’s and I congradulated her on her wedding.
She replied with an email cussing me out and telling me I wasn’t “sh*t”. Then she told me to “get up on her ‘grown woman’ game”. HAHAHAHHAHA ROTFLMAO. hilarious! you can’t buy comedy like that. good times.
anyway, sorry to be so long winded. just wanted to give a glimpse into what us 20-somethings are doing as we work on our “grown up” game. haha!
LMAO…You must have given him a killer look one day like…quite playing, you know you’re lying your butt off. LOL
I like your reasons #2 and #3. As for clearly painting a picture, I just thought it was strange you mentioned his sexual orientation first, and then left out lots of other descriptive traits such as his age or race. That’s because his age or race isn’t relevant. If the topic was about his lack of retirement planning, maybe. Or his inability to break the glass ceiling and earn a higher salary, for sure. But neither age nor race has anything to do with the picture I was painting through words – his unusual need to feel accepted. [-SM] Despite his bad attitude, I hope you won’t write him off! Maybe you could lend him a copy of a book on personal finance or pass along a link to another fabulous personal finance blog (though none are as fabulous as yours)? ;-)
LOL too funny. I feel you on that. Everytime I look at these girls on campus with fly clothes, shoes, and bags I have to remind myself that I’m not willing to put myself in a difficult financial situation for material items.
Oh and I LOVE how you have a “signature” at the bottom of your posts. I hope you don’t mind if I steal that idea for my blog!
I don’t mind at all. Make your blog as fabulous as you wanna! [-SM]
LMAO…..Heeeeelllllllllaaaaarrrriousssss!!!!!
I’m NOT impressed. You are excited to do counseling at a not-for-profit one-on-one but when this person reaches out to you informally in your area of expertise you ’stroke his ego’ instead of extending true sympathy or offering information or resources and your internal reaction, which you share with us here, is quite spiteful. This story was very ugly to read and at best a missed opportunity. I understand that there is personal history between he and you clouding your better judgement here and that you are not officially in a client/counselor role. And I also think any contempt that you have for people who get themselves into financial predicaments can only get in the way of you being an effective counselor and mentor.
Opinions are like butt holes, we all have them, but when you make ASSumptions…well, you know what they say about that. If you think I have “contempt for people who get themselves into financial predicaments,” you obviously haven’t read my blog, so I’ll give you a pass – this time. And thank gawd I don’t make decisions based on what other people think I should/should not do because I’d be broke and confused. As you know, I’m neither, but thanks for sharing your $0.02. [-SM]
Well you didn’t take the time to listen to the guy’s problems so how do you know “his unusual need to feel accepted” has anything at all to do with his sexual orientation? Or is that just you labeling his problems according to his identity as a gay man?
I think you’re being an ass and trying to dig for something that isn’t there. How do I know? Because you’re asking dumb ass, irrelevant questions.
I suggest you tread lightly. [-SM]
I have a question about your job hunt–how do you reconcile staying in your current job to qualify for bonuses even though you are clearly wanting to move on? My “potential” bonus is based on past performance that has already occurred and rightfully earned. However, my exit strategy is not solely based on the bonus. Whether I receive it or not, I am still moving on for reasons I have not openly discussed on this blog – and probably never will. [-SM] I ask this in all seriousness, because I’m struggling right now–I’ve been in my job 16 months, and I like it. I’ve received a promotion and a raise, as well as a discretionary bonus. I like my boss and I like the industry.
Wow, that is wonderful! Sounds like the perfect gig to me. Why would you want to move on? [-SM]
The job itself is entry level, and there’s a job open in another department which would be a very natural progression for me. But I feel guilty moving on right now when my boss clearly expressed appreciation for my work by giving me a raise (in November) and a bonus (in January). If I don’t explore this possibility (there’s a chance I won’t be considered, since I’ve not even been here 18 months yet), I don’t know how long it will be before another job opens that I could move to (and I really, really want to stay with this company).
Advice?
You’ve stated nothing but good things about the organization, the work environment, and your boss, so it concerns me that you’re looking to leap so soon. 16 months? Give yourself time to grow and really learn what there is to learn. When you’re ready for more challenging assignments (as it seems you are), talk to your boss about it. I’m sure this “other department” isn’t the only one that can offer you the “natural progression” that you yearn for. If you’re a star performer, it won’t be the ‘only’ opportunity either. Talk to your boss, explain your goals (long term and short term), present your career plan – and if you’re as valued as you think you are, s/he should help to scope your career development in a way that meets the organization’s needs and your personal goals.
Very good question by the way. I’m honored that you think I was qualified to answer it. Good luck to you.
For future reference, if the comment isn’t relevant to the post, please send it via private email. Otherwise, I may miss it – or – ignore it on purpose. ;-) [-SM]