I understand that male survivors of abuse need help working through their emotions about the ordeal, and sometimes they even need help getting out of the relationship (this is very unusual, but I know a man who was once in that situation), but I’d like to remind any man reading this that we women had to advocate for our own gender and fight like hell to make the gains we *have* made thus far in setting up domestic violence shelters, against an incredible amount of backlash in the other direction, which largely came from men. When a man steps into the middle of a discussion about female domestic abuse victims and demands equal time for men’s grievances in the other direction, it sounds to me like you are asking us to fix your problems as well as ours, when your gender could not be bothered to do any serious work for our problems in the first place. It is men who commit the most dangerous abuse, and it is men who most often belittle other men who have been victims of abuse, and maybe you should clean up your own “house” for once.

This is not to say I don’t think abuse is a serious issue no matter who suffers it. But there are very real political implications in expecting women to be housekeepers for every little political situation men face, giving us all the political responsibility when we don’t even have equal political rights. Try a little fairness for once and please stop accusing us of *un*fairness. If it were up to us, the genders would have been considered equal (not “the same,” but equal in worth) and treated accordingly a looooong time ago.