Single Ma Goes Against the Grain
I’ve been blogging about personal finance for a little over two years. Therefore, it’s no surprise that I have a bunch of personal finance buddies and I also read a ton of personal finance blogs. Some of them I read because I like their writing style, some I read because I can relate to where they are in life, some I read because they share helpful information, and others I read because I admire their financial stamina.
There is always something I can learn from each and every personal finance blog (magazine article, newspaper article, book, etc.) that I read. However, there aren’t any blogs I read just because I agree with everything the writer says. In fact, there are many financial decisions I’ve made that go against the grain of standard personal finance advice. For example:
- I saved $10,000 in my emergency fund before paying off debt.
- The only reason I paid off my student loans early is because I no longer qualified for the tax deduction.
- When my e-fund is fully funded, it still won’t cover 6 months of my current living expenses.
- I bought a brand new car that depreciated the moment I drove it off the lot.
- I did not put 20% down when I purchased my first home.
- I financed my house with a 5/1 ARM.
- I do not intend to pay for my daughter’s college education.
- I include home equity, personal possessions and vested pension in my net worth calculation.
- I am not frugal: I rarely pack lunch, I rarely plan meals, I hate left overs, I don’t clip coupons, I don’t reuse items for multiple purposes, and sometimes I forget to recycle.
- I shop A LOT: I like shoes, clothes, jewelry, and designer handbags.
- I dine out A LOT: I spend more on dining out than on groceries.
- In December 2007, I spent more than I earned. Oops.
- I prefer to maximize income than reduce expenses. I find the former to be easier because the latter can only go so low.
- I despise the ‘anyone can become a millionaire example’: skip something you love for the rest of your life, then invest the $5 you saved for a gazillion years at a rate of a thousand percent per year and you’ll be a millionaire right before you die.
- I like credit cards and hate cash.
- Sometimes I give my daughter money just because, she doesn’t always have to earn it.
- I want to be wealthy so I can help more people and leave an estate to my offspring – not just to retire comfortably.
- I don’t believe in giving and expecting nothing in return. A thank you goes a long way.
- I don’t believe in giving anonymously. I’m motivated by recognition.
- I believe everyone should tithe or donate 10% of all earned income, but as with most things I say, I don’t always practice what I preach.
Whoa! After all of those financial bloopers, admitting that I had a child out of wedlock shouldn’t be so bad then, huh? LOL Go ahead and cast me out the gates…*bracing myself*
My point is, it’ll be ok if you don’t do everything just right. It’s ok if you don’t follow conventional wisdom to the letter of the law. It’s also ok if you don’t agree with everything you read in the world of personal finance – including this blog. When it comes to personal finance, all advice isn’t good advice anyway. At the end of the day, as long as you’re making PROGRESS, you have to do what works for you.
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Work to achieve, not to acquire.
And as always, BE FABULOUS!
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I’m a recent reader to your blog and I rally love your tone!
Great article! So many pf bloggers feel they have to be “perfect” or at least justify their imperfections. This is a MUCH better attitude to have!
I like the way you think! And personal finance is just that, personal. What works for one, isn’t necessarily what will work for someone else. We all have to make our own personal decisions and if we are making progress, we are doing something right! Thanks for sharing!
Great point! *exhales* Ive been wrestling with whether or not it is better to save more towards our E-Fund or pay off debt first or max out the REtirement funds. Ive chosen to do focus on E Fund and debt pay off and then by the end of the summer focus on maxing out the retirement fund by December. I dont know if that will and I see it changing soon so we’ll see…
Thanks so much for:
7. I do not intend to pay for my daughter’s college education.
I’m sure I’ve heard you mention this before, but this is something that often feel a bit bashful about. Not so much in personal finance groups, but more so in general peer groups. It always seems that most people I meet find paying for their child’s education an absolute given.
Having done the single mom thing (ha, even having remarried, when it comes to my babygirl, I still feel like I’ll always be a single mom) and still managed to get through college without help, I’m not feeling that it has to be my job to get her through college too. It’s nice to hear that other’s are there as well.
I also hear ya on paying up the emergency fund — last year I got several comments about how I should be paying off debt instead of building up that fund (along with the money needed for closing costs on our house) and I’m still very happy with our choice to put it away for when we needed it (and we have).
hey there! Thank you for that post. As someone who is training to be a financial advisor/planner…I am often the oddball of the group because I do not prescribe to the “traditional” model of financial planning. I prescribe to the “life your life” model of planning where you can merge your need for money with the need to live your life, follow your dreams and not buy into the status quo. I actually have a new blog called fiscalfashionista.blogspot.com where I go into this a little further. Also, I really enjoy your blog and you drive home a lot of real life points. I would like to add you to my support network links tab and also higlight you/your blog in one of my post. Please let me know if this would be ok with you. Take care and keep the good insight coming!!!
-EvieB
Wonderful as usual SingleMa! As one who has experienced the pitfalls of not having an e-fund (being attacked with several emergency sitchy-ations all at once!), I have chosen to concentrate on the e-fund first. It is refreshing to have someone who doesn’t preach the “my way or the highway” philosophy on money management. E-fund is most important in my opinion, because it then prevents you from turning to payday loans, borrowing from friend/family or incurring more debt just to put out your fires.
Be blessed Sis! I keep you in prayer.
As usual…awesome post!!!
I really like that you keep it real. PF is not a one size fits all.
“I hate left overs, I don’t clip coupons” —-my kinda girl, LOL
What a great read.
great point, and great way of illustrating it. most of what i do to stay healthy comes from what makes sense to ME. i’m actually scared to buy into everything i hear.
I found the “I do not intend to pay for my daughter’s college” interesting.
How do you anticipate your daughter paying for college? A mix of scholarships and loans? Getting a job and having her employer pay for college while she works? Have you discussed it with your daughter (I am assuming you have, but would love to know her thoughts)
I worry about college for my kids because I do want to help them with college expenses… My parents paid for my college (although I did have a partial scholarship and I paid for my day to day expenses at the time) and it was a gift that I didn’t fully appreciate then, but I sure do now, since I graduated debt-free. However, the cost of college is so MUCH more now than when I went 20+ years ago, it’s frightening! I am interested in hearing more about your thoughts about the subject.
Do you believe someone who earns minimum wage and has student loan debt should tithe or donate 10% of their income?
I believe in (mostly) giving anonymously because I don’t want to be on an organization’s ****ing mailing list!
Hee.
And you know how I feel about parents and kids’ educational expenses, but to each their own.
@ Donna Jean and Beth – I’ll post an answer for you two tonight.
@ HC – If I donate to an organization, it’s for a cause that I strongly believe in so I don’t mind being on their mailing list. I want to know what they are up to, and mostly likely, I will plan to give again.
Recently I’ve been working on changing how I think about certain things. Lucky number 13 jumped out at me…I’ve started saying “I need to make more than I spend” instead of “I need to spend less than I make”. They mean the same thing in mathematical terms, but very different things to me emotionally.
I like knowing what my organizations are up to as well, but I’d much rather look it up on their website than get continual postal appeals.
I’d rather see that printing/postage money go to programs. And besides, as we all know, I hate extra paper!
This is why I make most of my donations through payroll deduction.
Different strokes.
Thank you for this post! This is why you are my SHE-RO! LOL.
When I first came onto the PF blogosphere I was so set on finding the RIGHT way to do things. It took me a while to find out there isn’t a right way. Something that worked for one person may not work for me. Everyone is in a different circumstance. So now I just do the research, find the facts, create a formula that is Dimples’ specific, and achieve what I need to achieve.
I can’t wait until you start Fabulous Financials. Did I mention that I will be your first client?? :-)
Singla Ma – I absolutely loved this post. It goes to show that you can go against the grain and STILL be successful. You may have gone your own way but you are still debt free. I applaud you and am inspired by your progress!
#14 made me LOL! I believe in planning for the future but one also has to live and enjoy the present.
@ Beth – my answers to your questions can be found here.
I definitely believe that parents should help their children with college- but that help doesn’t have to be monetary. The way you are helping your daughter learn about finances is invaluable.
Single Ma…I must say I admire you more and more…for your honesty and strength. Also, I appreciate the clear way you express yourself.
I absolutely agree that parents are not responsible for paying for their child’s higher education. It is a personal choice and this being said, I paid for my own college and my parents told me up front they wouldn’t which was good because I knew what to expect.
Point: It is good if you tell your kid/s up front let them know what to expect (just like your daughter already knows). I had a friend who’s parents always paid for every single thing and then out of the blue as she is signing up for classes they said…we are not paying for you to go to college. Wow was she surprised. Not the kindest way to let your kid know – they are on their own.
This is why I look up to you. Finances aren’t a one size fit all. Everything works different for everyone.
You know am a firm believer in increasing your income. Get a part-time job for a few months if you have to. Switch jobs early in your career every 18 – 24 months if it what it takes to get you there.
Great post!
Hi,
Doesn’t matter if you won’t get tax benefits for student loans. The best thing is, you’ve paid off the debt. And, if you’d like to know where you can deduct and how, take a look at 34 and above deduction/credit available at:
http://www.mortgagefit.com/tax/34tips-deduction.html
http://www.give.org/tips/tax.asp
Regards,
Jessica